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Men Whose Marriage Proposals Were Turned Down Talk About What Their Life Was Like After That

(C)Unsplash,Ben White

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I knew a guy who asked his longtime girlfriend to marry him. She was no and he was absolutely devastated. It was very sad to watch and I don’t think he ever really got over it.

It’s always sad to hear about these kinds of stories but they happen all the time, unfortunately.

Here are some true stories from people on AskReddit who had their marriage proposals rejected.

1. Be patient…

“We met in her home country of Germany while I was traveling. I knew I was in love. We dated long distance for a while. Me flying to Europe. Her flying to the US. I suggested marriage so we could be together. She said no a few times.

I didn’t press. But I was patient and not being pushy. I knew she was worth the wait. Then it hit her that’s how we could be together. If we got married, we could live in a country together. The difficulties of being born on a different patch of dirt.

A few years later, I’m still married to my best friend and living with her in Germany. Not all no’s stay no. Life goes on.”

2. Intense.

“She had cancer.

I said we should get married because I had full medical coverage from my work. She said no, and over time we grew apart.

Haven’t talked to her in 15 years, don’t know if she died.”

3. Dodged a bullet.

“Dated a woman for over two years and popped the question. First time she said “I don’t know”.

A couple months later I asked her again, she said “Maybe.” I was pretty bent out of shape.

But then I found out she was sleeping with several of my friends so I dodged a bullet there really.”

4. Good thing you got dumped.

“Her dad former Navy kept saying we should wait. We put it off for a bit longer.

Fast forward another year. She dumped me. Father informs me she has been sleeping with A LOT of guys.. like more then 50 over the 2 yrs we dated. And was very happy i didn’t marry her. and apologizes to me for her behavior.

She then totally ghosting everyone including her family for about 6 months. Find out she moved 7 hrs away and was living under a house.. not a basement. under a house with her new bf… She calls her mom to come get her. Mother and father ask me to go get her and bring her home..

Good times.. good times.”

5. Wasn’t ready…but…

“I asked her right out of high school, but she wasn’t ready. We stayed together, went to college at the same school, spent the first year in separate dorms, then moved in together. Got married a few years later.

Our 20th is coming up.”

6. Moving on.

“I never saw her again. Less than a year later I met my wife.

We’ve been together 15 years.”

7. Yes..no…

“She said yes as I had a special occasion planned – one of those observation wheels and I proposed at the very top and we were in our way to a family event and I had a ring made and everything.

Then a few days later she said no. Everything fell apart. I was distraught. We continued dating for a while but it was long distance – other side of the world. When I visited it would be super awkward. Eventually he dad kicked me out. Was flying standby and was stuck in an airport for 4 days. Took me years to recover.

Now I am happily married and am glad it never worked out. I was not in a good place when I met her and her family were super controlling. It would never have worked.

The woman I married is super cool and is my best friend. Turned out better then expected.”

8. I take it back.

“I proposed, she said yes, but 1 month before the wedding she took it back. This is what happened immediately with my life.

I personally lost about $3,000 worth of deposits. My parents and her parents lost about $4000 each on deposits. Me and my parents are working class so it took years for us to financially recovered from this.

I spent $2,200 on a ring I didn’t want. My biggest regret and will say this anyone who listens. The engagement ring chain I bought it from wouldn’t take it back. I took it to pawn shops and they’d only offer a few hundred. This engagement ring store, bank on customers who wants the whole ring (stone, band, setting).

If you’re going to buy a ring JUST BUY THE STONE a gold band, setting you can get a better deal from a local jewelry store. Apparently my gem I bought was shit. Most of the cost of the ring was BS.

Most of my family was from out of state and a lot of people were pissed because they canceled their flight.

I had to go to the ER. So I didn’t leave my room, I couldn’t take any calls because everyone was pissed and I didn’t want to hear it. I was depressed and just stayed in bed. One day my roommate grabbed me and took me to the ER where the doctor treated me for severe dehydration and an infection.

What happened when I got over it? I became stronger for it. I didn’t propose to anyone until a decade later – honestly there wasn’t anyone that I didn’t love deeply enough to be in a committed relationship. But when I proposed I was in my thirties our relationship was more mature than my first time I proposed.

We’re now married for 13 years. SHe’s my best friend. When I have good news she the first person I want to tell it too… when I have bad news she’s the first person I want to tell it too. I financially recovered as well.

I learned my lesson about the engagement ring. Only paid $300 for it. She LOVED it and treasures it. After our 10 year miles stone we were doing so well, I told her to pick a wedding ring of any cost. She refused. She still wears that cheap $300 ring and loves it.”

9. Like a movie.

“We were dating for a little over a year but I was so sure she was the one. I drove 2 hours to see her at her college and went on a beautiful winter night walk and proposed.

She looks me right in the eyes and said, “Oh you thought this was serious? Well um I don’t know how to say this other than I have been saying other people. Well actually I have been seeing other women.”

I was stunned I got up put the ring in my pocket and walked to my car got in and drove away never looking back crying the whole time.

Haven’t seen or spoken with her in 7 years even though she has tried countless times to reach out. Now it’s a story I tell friends who are nervous about asking their significant others to marry them.

Reminding them that even if they say no it could be worse.”

10. Getting over the trauma.

“She was in trauma from a past relationship, and at that time I wanted to help her move on, and in that act I realised that I’ve fallen in love with her, as she’s the one who despite being in depression, helped me out of my social anxiety. I just couldn’t see her suffer

So I proposed to her, and got rejected, as she wasn’t ready to be in another relationship and since I confessed about love, she got more anxious and out friendship was temporarily over. We didn’t talk or have contact for months.

Later on, I somehow contacted her, we had a bit of talk, and asked how she was doing, and learnt that she has been shutting herself in her room minimising contact with people. I still had romantic feelings for her, but I wanted to be with her and help her move on so I insisted being friends again. We spent our time like that, and honestly she’s the only friend I had.

Time passed, and when I saw she’s getting back to her normal life, I proposed her again, and she accepted. It was a long way to that day. I’ve never been happier in my life.

It’s been 4 years since then, though we have arguements due to different views, but we always come up with a solution to resolve things. And I can say this with certainty that nobody can love me the way she does.

I feel lucky to have her in my life.”

11. Horrible at first.

“It was absolutely horrible at first.

I legit thought my life was ending as shortly after that she wanted to “take a break”. Pretty much she wanted to date her co-worker at Baker’s square, and had a really weird cult-ish relationship with all her co-workers. At first I was confused/upset, all of the above.

But weirdly enough one of her friends/acquaintance for me contacted me since she knew I was in a rough patch, completely innocently, and we hung out, and she even knew that I wanted to get back together with her at some point, so it wasn’t anything immediate.

Eventually, the girl I proposed to found out her co-worker boy toy was a douche and wanted to get back together with me, and obviously I had been fretting about it for like 3 months so I instantly said yes even though unknowingly I started forming a bond with her friend/my acquaintance.

Slowly, things just started deteriorating as I started getting honestly kind of suspicious that she wanted to get together with one of her other co-workers, and surprisingly I was actually right. She ending up breaking up with me again, and I thought I was gonna go through it all again, but this time the shock only lasted a few days since this time I kind of had closure.

Meanwhile, somehow I think the friend/my acquaintance/current girlfriend of 4 years knew that this was gonna happen, and was there for me when I needed it. Like both times for me it was super rough, couldn’t even function. Got together, and honestly I can’t even understand how I thought I was happy with my old girlfriend who I proposed to.

I even look back, and I’m realizing that even her family was fucked up. Her Mom was extremely controlling, and even (disgustingly) bragged about how she dated a boy in high school for a few years and broke up with him and hurt his feelings so bad that he moved for mental health reasons. Like, I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree?

To be quite honest though, I miss her dad A LOT. Like honestly, he messages me every once and awhile (I doubt his daughter knows) and basically I can just hear it in his voice that he would rather her date me then her new boyfriend since I had a pretty good bond with him.

Even so, I still don’t like to message back with anything too much since I’d somehow weirdly feel like it’s cheating on my current girlfriend who has the most chill parents I’ve ever met, and are super easy going. I honestly think my life would’ve been hell if I chose to marry my past girlfriend with a mom-in law problem.

Anyways that’s my story.”

12. Separate ways.

“I asked a woman after almost 6 years together. She said no, and added that maybe it was time for us to go our separate ways. Wow. Shock. But life has to go on.

About a year later I met a different girl and we were engaged within a year. We were both ready for marriage. That was 16 years ago. We’ve got three terrific kids, two boys that are exceptional athletes and a girl whose a brainy little nerd.

The lady who refused me eventually got married, had a couple kids, and got divorced. But she got married again. And had another kid. And got divorced again.

We completely lost touch several years ago.”

13. Nice!

“We were living together.

I asked, she said “No, I love you but I need to think about it. I don’t think I’m ready yet. Can you give me some time and ask later?”. A few months go by, I ask again, same response. A few more months, same deal. A couple more weeks and then she says “hey, what do you think of us getting married?”. I replied: That’s an excellent idea, why didn’t I think of that?

Our 39th anniversary is next month.”

14. We’ll see…

“Dated my wife in high school.

I was all wrong for her at the time, and it was going way too fast so we broke up on good terms. One of the last times we talked, I aksed her if she would marry me one day, she laughed it off and said no way, and said I was definetly not the marrying type.

Fast Forward to college, I was working full time and she was a law student, and she walked in to the liquor store I was the manager of. We talked for an hour, and it continued in the parking lot, just talking and catching up. At the end of the conversation as she was leaving, jokingly I asked her to marry me again. She laughed, I laughed.. and she said “we’ll see”.

Married 16 years in October.”

15. It’s all good.

“Said no, we broke up, got back together, got a job in Alaska for the summer and “forgot” to tell me.

Then we don’t talk for years. There was a shooting at my church. She calls me out of the blue to make sure I’m okay. After an awkward pause “Well I want to make sure you didn’t do something stupid like go after the shooter!” then she hung up.

But here is a good story. I was 20 and she was 18. We had been really close friends for years. We where in that awkward “should be date, or shouldn’t we?” phase. So we went out to dinner. She told me “you realize if we go this route, we’re getting married in a couple of years.” So we talked about what we really wanted out of life.

She wanted to be a Pastor’s wife. I believe God loves stupid people cause he made so many. We realized we both wanted different things from life.

Been friends for 20 years. Had a rough patch when she got married and the guy couldn’t comprehend why I would be that close to her and not want to marry her.

But now everything is good.”

16. A story about Dad.

“My dad proposed to a woman who said no. My dad was a violent alcoholic and she said she couldn’t be with him unless he got clean. Took him a little while, but he did it. He wound up meeting my mom through a match maker and they’ve been married 25 years.

If that woman never said no to him, he never would have gotten clean. It was the lowest point in his life. But it all brought him to my mom who makes him happier than ever.

My dad talks to her sometimes. She got married to someone else and they had a son who died from a medical condition.”

As they say, life goes on…

How about you?

Have you ever had someone reject your marriage proposal?

Or you maybe YOU did the rejecting?

If you’re comfortable with it, share your stories in the comments.