I know I’m most likely preaching to the choir here, but I’m gonna say it anyway…
Looking for a job SUUUUUUUUUCKS.
It’s a total nightmare, it destroys your soul, it makes you feel horrible about yourself, and you’re likely to get rejected over and over again, which isn’t good for your self-confidence.
But you gotta keep doing it if you’re out of work because we all gotta pay the bills, brothers and sisters.
Still, it can be a major drag…but we want you to have a laugh and jobs and job searching.
1. This is out of control.
You’re gonna need top-secret clearance for this job.
One time I Applied to work as a busboy at Cheesecake Factory they made me take a personality test and 2 IQ type tests and then said I wasn’t what the Cheesecake Factory was looking for. It’s not the CIA man it’s where parents take their kids to tell them they’re getting divorced
— joe joegan (@jakebrodes) April 13, 2021
2. Yeah, imagine that.
I don’t know why companies haven’t figured this out yet…
Workers: Are you going to replace them, that position is important.
Company: lol no.
Workers: is anyone gonna get a raise for picking up their work?
Company: lol no.
*more workers quit*
Company: Damn everyone’s leaving that’s nuts.
— Fido 🐶 (@TheDalmie) October 26, 2019
3. Enough with these kinds of posts!
Just keep hustlin’!
I fucking hate LinkedIn with a passion.
One more speech about how you just have to keep hustling and taking shit and working 80 hour weeks from a dude who got into Yale as a legacy and became a startup CEO of a shitty app company with no privacy security might make me vomit.
— SuperPowerArmor (@SuperPowerArmor) August 22, 2019
4. She answered the question honestly.
And no, she didn’t stutter.
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years
Me: naked on a beach
Interviewer: I mean professionally
Me: did I stutter
— Kari Assad – October 3rd at the Nitecap! (@kariassad) March 11, 2021
5. That’s pretty close.
They really care about you!
HR: What sort of perks would make your life better here?
Me: A higher salary, flexible hours, and more vacation days.
HR: lmao here's some ramen cups and permission to wear jeans on Friday.
— Aladin Bensassi (@BenSassiAladin) February 4, 2021
6. I swear I can do it!
Now you better be able to follow through.
Me lying on my resume to get a job https://t.co/PQ95vKdUaz
— Handsome Squidward Summer (@IHateMyLaugh) February 23, 2019
7. They’re gonna see right through you.
Just fake it until you make it!
me on my resume: im friendly, outgoing, and have a bright, bubbly personality!
me at the interview: pic.twitter.com/0410XTWcOL
— k (@avacadogirI) August 15, 2017
8. Sounds totally reasonable.
And you wonder why you aren’t getting ahead…
ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:
Hiring recent college grads
5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and superpowers.
— jordan (@jordan_stratton) July 6, 2015
9. We all have our private and professional lives.
And sometimes they’re totally different.
Me saying Me showing
“Eat the up for a job
rich” and interview at
being a a corporation
Marxist so I won’t die
on Twitter: of starvation: pic.twitter.com/psoky0fLpz
— Sokka Loves Zuko (@KentingtonClark) November 15, 2019
10. This is a tough one.
I’m not sure how to answer it…
When entry level positions require extensive prior experience: pic.twitter.com/5G5hf8aeWb
— Chloe Condon (@ChloeCondon) July 7, 2018
11. That was determined to be a lie!
Nice try, though.
my resume watching me put “hardworking and motivated” on it pic.twitter.com/n5jB29WdvH
— 𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔 (@mario_xcx) June 26, 2018
12. Think you’ll still get the job?
Maybe they’ll think it’s funny? Maybe…?
I JUST APPLIED FOR A JOB AND ACCIDENTALLY UPLOADED THIS INSTEAD OF MY RESUME pic.twitter.com/rNjHAIzHoF
— an ₿igeon (@imskytrash) April 28, 2019
How about you?
What are some bad or funny experiences you’ve had while job searching?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know! Thanks!