What does your heart desire?
Money? Love? Health?
No, forget about all of that stuff!
You want funny tweets, don’t you?
I knew it! Man, I’m good at this…
Well, now that we’ve established what you’re looking for, you can proceed and enjoy these hilarious tweets.
1. The people of Haddonfield don’t seem too bright, do they?
You guys know that you can live somewhere else, right?
The way Michael Myers terrorizes the same town on the same day of the year and they just don’t….move?
— Mysa Mami (@Brieyonce) October 24, 2021
2. Oh, I thought you were talking about something else.
Still, it’s good to be positive!
I SAID YES!!! ??❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️???????? someone asked me if i was feeling sad!!
— trash jones (@jzux) October 24, 2021
3. I think there should be, too.
And don’t even talk about raisin bagels because I don’t play that game.
Feels like there should be a middle ground pic.twitter.com/tFSZeGyi4I
— Navidad Nick Nuñez (@blocktimusprime) October 23, 2021
4. The first thing I’d do if I was rich is hire a private chef.
It’s gonna happen, right?
I understand why people have private chefs, house-keepers, nanny’s, and personal assistants… i really do.
— Mel Reneé (@MelReneeStyles) October 24, 2021
5. These things don’t seem to add up.
You might want to cut out the sugar part.
me applying skin care then sleeping at 4am and eating processed sugar ???????????????????
— ᶠᵉᵉˡˢ? (@onlyfeelx) October 24, 2021
6. That sounds like a hot date.
I want one of these, too!
first date idea: you pet my head and tell me everything is going to be okay in this cold hard world
— ………… corie (@corietjohnson) October 25, 2021
7. My main hobby in life is cheese.
There are just so many different kinds to enjoy!
Oh, I have no hobbies? Then what do you consider “cheese”?
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) October 24, 2021
8. Over and over and over again.
Some people spend entire weekends doing this. YOU DO YOU.
the millennial urge to make & abandon online shopping carts
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) October 24, 2021
9. This is what my weekend usually looks like.
Hey, it’s tiring to wake up and make that coffee.
woke up, got coffee, time for a nap
— Dan Perlman (@danjperlman) October 24, 2021
10. Think that’ll happen again anytime soon?
I sure hope it does!
Uber pool was a wild time, up to 3 strangers in one car??? WILD
— nightskineded (@ndeajanae) October 24, 2021
11. Everybody, it’s time for a group nap.
No, not all in the same bed!
Well the last four months have been fun but now I think it's time for a group nap
— Kimberly ??♀️ Dinaro? (@KimberDin) October 23, 2021
12. Hahaha. Yes!
This is quite good.
timothée chalamet sounds like the name of a very wealthy mouse
— between tufans (@tufannadjafi) October 25, 2021
Do you have some favorite tweets that make you laugh every single time?
If so, share them with us in the comments.
We’d love to hear from you!