Hey, Guys: For Valentine’s Day, Don’t Get Your Partner Flowers. Get Them A Beard Bouquet

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Maybe you’re in a brand new relationship, and the opportunity to celebrating the big day is itself enough to get you excited. But for those of us who have been shacking up for a while, the shine of February 14th can definitely wear off. After several years of buying your partner the same flowers and chocolates, taking them to the same fancy restaurant, and later failing to have sex because you’re both too bloated from said dinner, the holiday becomes more of an obligation than a treat.

But if you’re a person with an abundance of facial hair, we’ve got the perfect gift for you: a beard bouquet.

The Beard Bouquet is the latest hit from Firebox, a UK-based novelty gift company that’s been around since 1998. They’re also the inventors of massively popular viral gifts like a “Unicorn Tears” liqueur, car air fresheners that you can put your friends’ faces on, and the hatching dinosaur egg candle. They’re sort of like an online Spencer’s Gifts, except more meme-friendly, and not geared towards 13-year-olds. (Well, mostly.)

And now, Firebox has a kit that lets you turn your beard into a romantic floral bouquet. Let’s see it in action!

The whole shebang retails for $14.99 and includes nine rose blossoms, which Firebox insists are super comfortable and don’t tug at your beard. That way, you can wear them all day if you think the look suits you. The blossoms are not real roses, but that just means they’ll last longer and won’t die.

And if you’re still not convinced, the Firebox product description should give you the final nudge: “Stuff your beard with roses and you’ll be enjoying her secret garden in no time.”

Sold!

But if we’re being honest, a Beard Bouquet is really more of a starter kit than a real option for the floral beard enthusiasts. That’s because guys have been adding flowers to their beards for years and sharing them on Instagram. And what they do is far, far more impressive than sticking nine fake rosebuds on your face. For starters, you could easily make a rose beard yourself with real roses, like this Dad did.

But why limit yourself to just roses when you could do a whole floral arrangement?

This groom went all out for his wedding with this masterpiece:

This guy capped off a successful No Shave November with an elaborate floral arrangement in his beard:

Wildflowers are perfectly suitable for a beard bouquet on a budget.

This variation includes glitter and real lavender.

Your partner will love it! And if they don’t, the bees definitely will.

This flower is ready to be picked.

This guy only leaves the woods when he runs out of beard oil.

This one might look like he’s just got a bunch of wads of toilet paper stuck in his beard, but we appreciate the effort.

Just don’t make the classic Valentine’s Day mistake and wait til the very last minute to acquire your beard bouquet, or you may end up like this guy:

 

 

h/t: Scary Mommy

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