Let’s cut the small talk and get straight to the comedy, shall we?
Here are some of the funniest jokes from the ladies that we’ve been able to track down recently.
1. Very true.
Adam Driver is like if you moved Baumbach from 11 to 18 font https://t.co/IBPqAENvbA
— Shelley Farmer (@ShelleyBFarmer) December 19, 2019
2. You better believe it.
?You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Emotions are a sign of weakness?
— Alison Zeidman (@alisonlzeidman) December 20, 2019
3. Thanks for nothing.
watching the rise of skywalker is like telling an acquaintance you ate potato salad once and enjoyed it, and then having that acquaintance break into your home in the middle of the night, tie you to a chair, and mash potato salad into your face and eyes for 2+ hours
— Emma Stefansky (@stefabsky) December 17, 2019
4. Hey o!
There’s always ONE crazy one in the bunch!!! (This tweet is about stovetop burners)
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) December 17, 2019
5. Those are your treasures.
I hope when I die they bury me alongside all my open Chrome tabs, like Tutankhamun among his treasures
— Pjörk ? (@NicoleConlan) December 19, 2019
6. Thanks for the heads up.
anxiety: aren’t you like…worried?
me: about what?
anxiety: i don’t know
me: oh my god you’re right, thanks for reminding me
— ♡ (@IovelyAna) December 15, 2019
7. You think they did?
Holy shit… What if the makers of CATS…pulled a PRODUCERS?
— Ariel Dumas (@ArielDumas) December 20, 2019
8. Check your social media Fitbit.
how many miles do you think we've all scrolled this year
— Delia Cai (@delia_cai) December 17, 2019
By far the absolute highlight of my trip so far is finding a Christian bookshop (I wish I was kidding) called Cum Books pic.twitter.com/6B3WN2nZzy
— Isla ? (@islawhat) December 15, 2019
10. A lot of married people out there.
If you make eye contact with me in NYC we are common-law married
— Carmen Lagala (@CarmenLagala) December 20, 2019
A lot of people don’t know about politics cause history teachers be football coaches.
— on site quickly (@lonthecelebrity) December 19, 2019
12. I like all of them!
My mom asked me to help her decorate christmas cookies pic.twitter.com/ZXGe76HuBC
— ♝ ?????????? ?????? ♝ (@aalexandriabish) December 19, 2019
13. She gets it.
My favorite part of any impeachment is when men explain to me what an impeachment is it’s like lol I know how peaches grow I’m not a fukkin idiot.
— CORINNE FISHER (@PhilanthropyGal) December 19, 2019
14. Could make a turn in any direction.
Watching #CatsMovie is like attending a dinner party hosted by your polyamorous friends. You spend the whole time worried that it is 2 minutes away from turning into an orgy.
— Brittany Knupper (@MsGeorgiaOQueef) December 18, 2019
15. I’ve wondered that too.
how do presidential candidates debate without crying
— julia reinstein ? (@juliareinstein) December 20, 2019
Keep it up, ladies! You’re killing us over here!