Parents, this set of tweets is all about YOU.
They’re about your life, your reality, and the ridiculous and hilarious things that you have to go through on a daily basis with those little terrors that you’re raising to be good citizens.
No, they weren’t written BY you, but you’ll notice that when you start reading these tweets, they’re gonna make a whole lotta sense. And they’ll seem very familiar to your own life!
Enjoy! And have some laughs on us!
1. Really? That’s amazing!
For the first time in history…
I don’t like to brag but I had 19 seconds earlier where none of my kids yelled, cried, peed on the floor or asked if we can adopt a pigeon and call it Peppa
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 21, 2020
2. Sounds like a really cute kid.
Is he free or are you actually asking for money?
i asked 10 to get the toothpaste for his brothers last night and his response was "i have to do everything all the time!" then he chucked the toothpaste at the dog and his mom and well i put him up on craigslist if anyone wants the link.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 21, 2020
3. Isn’t this fun?
Get them to do all your chores for you.
My kids said they wanted to try something new this summer so I showed them how to vacuum & do laundry.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 21, 2020
4. Isn’t that something?
I have to admit, I’m impressed.
I told my 3yo to pick up her mess and she said, "I'm busy!" I got upset okay because there's nothing she can be doing that's more important than her chores.Turns out she's on a space mission to Mars. I was like wow that's next level important, so here I am picking up her mess.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) July 22, 2020
5. This is the correct answer.
But I don’t know if your wife thought it was funny…
wife: i just saw our daughter lining up her dolls to take turns in being burnt over a fire, do you know why she would do that?
me: [nodding] barbie queue
— Kieran (@kieransofar) July 22, 2020
6. It sure does!
They might as well learn this lesson as soon as possible.
I let my kids choose between doing one of their chores or doing something fun so they learn to make adult decisions, then I overrule their decision to do something fun so they learn that being an adult sucks.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 22, 2020
7. I think you are.
This is quite a workout, huh?
Me, trying to put a diaper on my toddler: “is this crossfit? am I crossfitting?”
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) July 23, 2020
8. They suddenly become limp and fall onto the floor.
Funny how that works…
https://twitter.com/CrockettForReal/status/1285754618023043072
9. He’s clearly mixed up.
And he’ll learn that naps will eventually become his lifeforce.
5 tried convincing me that he didn't need a nap today by loudly proclaiming "I HAAAATE NAPS!". Then ran to his room and slammed the door and promptly fell asleep.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 19, 2020
10. She’s losing it! Again!
Get her to a padded cell!
Me: Beaches, girls nights, planes, restaurants, date nights, malls, lysol wipes, movie theater popcorn…..
Kids: Dad! Mom is doing that weird thing again
Me: *rocking back and forth*
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) July 23, 2020
11. Not a great idea.
Won’t make that mistake again.
My kids got a Candy Land board game made out of chocolate, and they couldn't wait to play. When it was time to play we couldn't find it. Turns out someone ate it. I was my 4yo, she ate the whole game.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) July 22, 2020
12. He sounds like an evil child…
Keep your eyes open.
Last night I tucked my son in, kissed him goodnight and he hugged me and said "goodbye mommy" so I guess I won't be sleeping until he moves out.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) July 20, 2020
13. Oops…does that hurt?
Let’s give it another test run just to be sure.
Motherhood is accidentally dropping your phone on your baby’s head while breast feeding and then repeatedly dropping it on your own head to make sure it didn’t hurt the baby too much.
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 17, 2020
Okay parents, now it’s your turn!
In the comments, tell us about the funny and ridiculous things that your little rugrats have done recently.
We can’t wait to hear from you!