What’s the weirdest excuse you’ve ever given or been given that was actually true?

I had to cover for a food server once because he had to go chase his family’s cattle off of the highway.

Think you’ve got a better one?

Here are 16 from AskReddit you can use for inspiration:

1. Chicken Legs

“Sorry I couldn’t come to school yesterday, the water in my driveway froze 20 chickens by the legs, and I couldn’t just run them over”

Rural living is fun

2. Comatose Juror

I got out of jury duty because I was in a coma.

The guy at the courthouse told my family that next time I need to fill out the paperwork myself.

3. Stampede!

I can’t hang out today. There are buffalo stampeding through our yard, and they said it’s too dangerous to leave.

Photo Credit: Pixabay/CC0

4. Kidnapped!

“I’ll be late to work because I was kidnapped by some crazy dudes who left me in the desert and I’m waiting for my dad to come pick me up.”

And I made it to work that day, too. I was about an hour late after that scary incident. I thought I was gonna die.

My GF got mad and turned her phone off cuz she thought I was lying, and I was actually just hanging with friends.

So I’m texting her a description of the guys and their car, and she won’t even read the texts cuz she’s mad at me.

5. Fire(s)!

My brother has regularly abruptly left Skype calls with us during games because X was on fire. Each time was legit.

The most bizarre was the banana tree in our garage catching fire.

6. Dog ate it. (really)

Dog straight-up ate my homework in sixth grade. I brought in the chewed up papers as proof. Teacher got a kick out of it and gave me another day.

7. Double Casts

Just got out of the hospital after having surgery and the teacher asked me why I didn’t have my work from the previous day.

Even when I was in 2 full leg casts

8. Barefoot in the Park

I posted an ad on Craigslist to sell a pair of Foamposites. I got a bunch of replies and chose the closest one to my job decided to go on my lunch break. I brought my friend along who is also a female, and we drove to our designated location..a park in DC.

The guy casually robbed us with a gun (it was in his jacket, he put his arm around me) and I had to tell my manager we were going to be late because someone stole my shoes at gunpoint.

9. And so the tables are turned…

My mom is a school teacher and was grading papers at home. She stopped for dinner and came back to see her dog ate all the student’s papers.

“Sorry students, my dog ate your homework.”

10. Neigh, thank you.

“Sorry I missed school yesterday. A horse landed on me.”

11. The shirt is not enough.

“Sorry, I was late (to work). I witnessed a car accident and helped 2 people out of their overturned car that was in a ditch.”

You would’ve thought that my blood soaked shirt would’ve been enough proof, but they didn’t believe me until they heard the local traffic report on the radio.


Mistook a police officer asking me where my pants were for parents, (I kept telling him Colorado… he was unhappy).



Friend, looks at me, and looks down and looks up at me.. ‘dude, are you trying to get us arrested… PANTS, not your PA-RENTS’
“Oh. Right, uh…”

13. Potato/Potato… Hitler!

“The Swastika is a religious symbol in my country.”

It’s true.

14. Ink-splosion

I’m not in school today because an ink factory exploded and destroyed hundreds of houses.

15. Oh deer!

We weren’t horsing around mom! A deer seriously just jumped through the window, knocked over the TV, then jumped out!

Photo Credit: Pixabay/CC0