It’s great to find a shortcut or a life hack that will save you time and energy.

These…are not that. Instead, we’ve assembled 20 terrible life hacks that you will never be able to use! You’re welcome, friend!

1. Use old doll heads to make nightlights for your kids!

2. Tired of boiling water for pasta? Boil a few gallons at the start of the week and freeze for later!

3. Non-smoker hack

4. Sleep until noon so you only have buy 2 meals instead of 3

5. Dead batteries in your smoke alarm? Use popcorn instead! When it pops, get the hell out!

6. This person gets it

7. Use a snake to hold your pasta!

8. If your car is making weird noises, turn up the radio until it disappears

9. Put your finger through the bagel hole to stabilize while cutting in half

10. If you add coconut oil to your kale, it makes it easier to scrape into the trash

11. Fill a rubber glove with warm water and put it on your hand when you’re lonely!

12. Get rid of wrinkles by getting bit by a rattlesnake

13. Want a diet drink? Just push the button

14. Magnify your phone screen 200% by putting it in a glass of water

15. A red onion will protect your computer against viruses

16. Put your car into “R” for “Racing”

17. Retread tires with a sharpie

18. Use tape as a selfie stick

19. Dress for the weight you WANT, not the weight you have

20. Get free meals!

h/t: Bored Panda