Stock photos are just inherently awkward. The situations are always staged and even the best models come across as stiff and unnatural. That’s been the case for as long as stock photos have been around, but this collection of 1970’s stock photos, compiled by H. Armstrong Roberts, is particularly awkward. The fashion is loud, the situations are bizarre, and the mustaches are plentiful. Nobody does weird like the 70’s.

1.

This is a classic chicken-and-the-egg situation. Is this guy’s hair based on a Ken doll, or were all Ken dolls based on this man?

2.

That’s the face of a man who wishes he’d stayed in law school.

3.

“The only raincoat for true pimps and playas. Anyone without this rain coat is a trick-ass mark.”

4.

Yep, clowns have always been creepy. For me, the normal hair on the clown in front is even creepier than if he’d had a rainbow wig or something.

5.

Everyone remembers learning about Benjamin Franklin and his love for the three L’s: liberty, lightning, and leather coin purses.

6.

Well if it isn’t Mr. Charisma.

7.

Here’s our friend with the hair again. I wouldn’t trust a doctor with hair like that to put a BandAid on me.

8.

This guy is either about to film a porno about a tennis instructor, or he just filmed a porno about a tennis instructor.

9.

Anyone who wears an outfit like that is guaranteed to invite you to his place for fondue and unwanted back rubs.

10.

The other night I had a dream that was just like this.

11.

Our staring friend is back. You can tell he has range because in the last photo, he was staring uncomfortably in a shirt, and now, he’s staring uncomfortably in a suit.

12.

Those glasses need to come back.

13.

“Once I find out who took my belt, boy are they gonna get it!”

14.

Strike!

15.

Back in the 70’s, you could only buy business cards in batches of one.

16.

You always want your Santas to have a big smile, and dead lifeless eyes.

17.

Mondays, amiright?!