Yeah, OK. Most of you are probably looking at this title and thinking, “Novelty underwear? What’s even the point of that?” Why pay extra money to spruce up a garment that’s mostly hidden under your clothes?
Sorry, but where’s your imagination?
Fancy novelty underwear has so many possibilities! Just think about it! You can add some flair to your next sexy time. You can wow your friends in the gym locker room. Or, when you undress for your doctor, you can make her go, “This medical degree was a waste of money! Imma go be an underwear designer!”
Yes, novelty underwear truly is the key to living your best life. Here are some suggestions to get you started.
What are you waiting for?!
1. Hold On Tight
That’s a surprise nobody wants.
2. The Wolf Pack
If Ted Nugent were a pair of underwear, it would be this underwear.
3. His And Hers Glow In The Dark Galaxy Undies
The universe isn’t the only thing that’s expanding! Hey-o!
4. Holster Boxer-Briefs
It’s not really safe sex unless you’re carrying a firearm.
5. Flask Boxer-Briefs
Turns out your plum smugglers can also be booze smugglers.
6. The Elephant
“Hey baby. I got an elephant in my pants. Ready to be disappointed?”
This one goes out to all the never-nudes out there.
8. A bra that can only be unfastened with your lover’s thumbprint. (Really!)
And if it’s not your lover, the bra electrocutes him to death.
9. Mistletoe Thong
Guaranteed to ruin the office Christmas party in under 30 seconds.
10. Rhino Thong
Put the “danger” back in “endangered.”
11. A bra that’s also a gas mask. (For real!)
These woulda made World War I a whole lot sexier.
12. Undies For Two
Now you can both make skid marks together!
13. A bra that Tweets every time you take it off.
You’re gonna drive him covfefe.
14. The buzzkill
You’ve made The Lord very disappointed with your life choices.
15. Melon Panties
Yet another reason why Etsy should not exist.
16. And finally, edible panties made from beef jerky.
As if dogs needed another reason to sniff your crotch.