Vegas. Ground Zero for bad, embarrassing behavior by otherwise responsible adults.

I’ve been there a few times and seen quite some pretty ridiculous things, but never anything on the level of these AskReddit users who were nice enough to share their stories of Vegas craziness.

1. Do what you gotta do

I witnessed a woman stuffing mozzarella sticks down her pants at a buffet.

2. Thief!

One story involved a sex worker going up to the room of a guest she propositioned in the casino. She apparently convinced this brainiac to take a shower before doing anything and proceeds to steal his wallet and watch and run out the door. He hears the door and chases after. Butt naked! We now have a man naked chasing a sex worker down our hallways. They both manage to get to an elevator at the same time, full of other guests, and the guy starts beating the girl right there in front of the horrified guests until the elevator hits ground level and security can intervene.

3. Classy

Woman calls down requesting security to help her remove unwanted guests. Apparently she had been very drunk the night before, and brought two men to her room. They both spoke German and did not understand why she wanted them to leave. When the hotel manager asked if she wanted to press charges, she told him everything was consensual, but she just didn’t want them there anymore.

4. Bad move

I worked at a smaller casino that was more or less off of Fremont that was in a low income area so we would have a lot of guests like pimps, sex workers and homeless people. The guests mainly were just people that would come in and stick a 5 dollar bill into the slot machines while playing a penny at a time and would end up drinking 20 bucks worth of free alcohol on that slot but to get back to the topic the craziest thing I saw while working here was a guy proceed to get drunk and start demanding more drinks while screaming at the top of his lungs at this poor cocktail waitress.

Eventually security showed up and he proceeded to pee all over a blackjack table destroying numerous chips and the table. Security ended up tackling him into the middle of the pit while he was peeing and he knocked over multiple tables.

5. Don’t care

This very old woman was playing slots. She was in a wheelchair, and had an oxygen tank. She was clearly not there by herself, her family was nearby.

Well, she hits it BIG, and I mean BIG. Bells are ringing, lights flashing, the entire room knows something big just happened.

Casino staff and personnel come swarm her, already getting out the paperwork for her to sign. The bells and lights are still going nuts. A crowd is gathering. She’s clearly not able to handle all this, so her family steps in, and they start talking with the casino staff. The crowd just gets bigger, people start taking photos, and the bells and lights are still going nuts.

Quietly … off to the side, the old woman wheels her chair outside the crush of people, and starts putting money into another slot machine. She doesn’t care if she won big, she just wants to keep pumping money into the machine. She’s not oblivious to what’s going on, but she clearly doesn’t care.

6. Ouch

I worked at a club where some guy, high out of his mind, climbed up the fire escape on the side of the building, over the barriers, and then onto the roof that covers the valet area, you know, where taxi cabs and limos pull up to drop people off. When the bouncers and valet guys shouted at him to come down, he decided that instead of going back the stupid way he came, he would just climb down the fluorescent lightbulbs on the side.

Which shattered under his weight, sending him down into the street, cracking open his skull on the pavement. He did NOT die, thank goodness, but his wife screamed about suing the club, we’re gonna be in big trouble for this, because her husband is NYPD. Amazing.

7. “Everything is legal here!”

A guest came up to me while I was working and complained that people were doing lines of drugs in the lobby. I go to the lobby and sure enough, there is a group of people from South America doing lines off the table in the lobby. Not only that, but it’s only noon. I tell them that they can’t snort drugs here and they seem annoyed. “What do you mean? This is Vegas! Everything is legal here!”

I reply that, no, drugs are not legal in Las Vegas and they seem genuinely surprised. They continue, “Come on, this is Las Vegas! Here, do a line with us!” I reiterate that drugs are still illegal in Vegas and that they have a private hotel room that they can do cocaine in if they really want to. I still find it incredibly funny that my job entails telling guests to please not snort lines of drugs at noon in broad daylight in front of other guests.

8. Crazy city

I worked at a party pool last summer and after a day of high heat and much too much alcohol, my guest decided to pop a squat and poo in the back of the cabana he had rented. That was a fun day.

Lots of the crazy stuff I’ve seen involves violence mostly. Crazy fights that end in a bloody mess, or men who go crazy in a fit of rage when they loose more than their life savings on a night of betting. It’s a crazy city to grow up in…

9. Central American boys

Two young guys from somewhere in Central America come in at 4am. They are expensively dressed with Rolex watches, and obviously years of English classes but no experience actually speaking it. I’m guessing they are privileged rich boys in their country; they have that attitude where they are used to having servants, have never given a thought to how they treat other people, and never once have needed to pick up after themselves.

Anytime they need something they pound on the bar and yell “hey hey hey hey” until I respond. It doesn’t matter if I’m in a conversation with someone or making a drink. They do this every few minutes. He insists on paying as soon as he orders. They order the two most expensive steaks on the menu. The less drunk one gets a beer. The check is around $100, he looks at the tip portion on the credit card slip for a few seconds then crosses it out as soon as he realizes what it means.

The more drunk guy falls asleep immediately after ordering. After I put in the order and help one other person the guy starts pounding for me to come over. I ask him what I can do for him and he just stares at me. I ask him again, and he says “Uhh, where’s food!?!” He ordered two well-done 16-ounce steaks and he’s mad it has been three minutes. He stares at me anytime I’m in sight; if I make eye contact with him, he holds his arms out wondering where his food is.

The other guy wakes up, they take turns going to the bathroom, probably three times each. Come back sniffling and rubbing their noses. The steaks come out and these guys are hunched over their plates, shoveling food in as fast as it will go. One guy gets a piece of fat from the rib eye he’s eating and just hocks it out onto his plate. No discretion, doesn’t try to be quiet, just spits it out. A few minutes later his brother does the same thing, but he loudly spits his food onto my bar, almost going over and into my ice. He sees me staring at him and quickly puts his head down and continues eating. I guess deep down he knows what good behavior is, he has just grown up in a situation where he does whatever he wants.

They are slowing down. Their heads get closer and closer to the plate.
They each still have their fork in hand. Drunk guy passes out first, puts his hand into the food and rests his head on it. His brother is asleep with his head hanging but in an upright position. I should probably wake them and tell them that’s not allowed, but I want nothing to do with them.

I come back a few minutes later. More sober guy is asleep, hunched over his plate with his fork in his hand. More drunk guy has moved his hand and is fully asleep with his face in his food. I leave.

I walk around the bar again and there is another patron taking her picture with the guys. Cute blond girl has her arms around them doing devil horns. The hostess is begging me to let her call security, she gets abused so much she loves to be able to give a little back.

Security comes and shakes them both awake. As drunk guy sits up, a piece of potato and a chunk of steak sticks to his face then falls in his lap. His hand is covered in ketchup, which he then wipes all over his white shirt. Security sends them on their way.

10. Gambling problems

For those who don’t know, there are slot machines EVERYWHERE here. Bars, grocery stores, gas stations… everywhere. Most of these places don’t own their own machines or maintain their own gaming licenses – they lease all that stuff and people like me would come around to maintain the machines and occasionally remove and count the money. Removing and counting money, mostly from 7-11s in the wee hours of the morning, was my job for 3 years. I’ve seen things…I’ve seen the same drunks you get on the strip, sure, but you don’t really know the depths of addiction until you’ve seen the sorts of people who are gambling in a North Vegas 7-11 at 4am.

I once heard (against my will) the life story of a woman who lost her home, her job and her husband’s job to gambling. I guess they were a reasonably successful couple until she started feeding their 401k into machines. I’ve heard this story before, they’re a dime a dozen, but the part that made it stick was the ending.

“My husband doesn’t even trust me leaving the house any more” she said, feeding another $20 into her machine. “Makes me take him everywhere so it’s harder for me to go to a casino.” She motioned towards a small nook containing an ATM – and a small shabbily-dressed child, maybe 6, sitting on a milk crate eating cheetos.

“Trick’s on him,” she said, “these things are everywhere.” She gave me a sly look like she had shared a clever life hack – like her ability to perpetuate her addiction was equivalent to a clever new use for empty paper towel rolls or something. I could barely hold back the vomit.

In theory, we’re supposed to report things like that. In practice, those are “good customers” in most eyes and nothing ever changes. Thankfully, I got out of that industry.

11. Blind drunk

We have a bit of a lounging room on the second floor. TVs, bean bags, gaming consoles and stuff like that. More aimed towards the teenagers. We also have a large pool table right in the centre of it. One late night, we had to forcibly remove a guy for his behavior. Blind drunk, naked and laying on top of the pool table, throwing the pool balls (dunno what they’re called, sorry) and trying to shove his penis in the holes. Good fun.

12. Craps

I was at craps table about 3am. There was this guy throwing his hands up like praising Jesus or something every time somebody rolled. At the same time he would throw his hands up, he would kind of rub his nose. After a while of studying this mans insane antics I realized every time he raises his hands he was doing some drugs (could of been other substance) the reason I confirmed was because I was standing next to him and he had an open baggy on the little rail where you can place your beers under you.

13. I want to meet this guy

I had just started working for one of the better casino/hotels on the north strip and naturally as a steady extra I was put on grave yard, which wasn’t so bad it was nice to relax and honestly do nothing and get paid for it. Well on one night about a month after starting I was moved to a VIP entrance and the owner of the casino actually lived in the hotel and used this entrance frequently. I started seeing him more and more and one night he was just getting back from an outing and saw some beautiful ladies about to leave.

He decided to escort them into the casino and whatever you can imagine, about 50 steps into the lobby he realizes “oh these are sex workers” and this is when it really went crazy. He immediately gets one in a headlock while the other is beating him over the head with her purse and he’s looking helplessly at the staff to come help while also screaming SECURITY!!!! We all knew we would be fired for not helping, but also have a battery case against for helping. Lose lose situation. About 5 minutes go buy of this 2 on 1 fight until the owner straight up knocks out one of the girls just as security is rolling up. HHUUUUUUUGE lawsuit happened.

Another was a drunk pregnant lady came in crying and pooping all over the floor.

The absolute best and most envious was when a vip came in and he was great friends with one of the bellman and we noticed this bellman was gone for quite some time but when he returned he had this cheeky smile he couldnt wipe away, so I asked “what the…” he pulled me aside and showed me that he was just given a $10,000 tip to “help pay the house off and take care of the family”. This same guest got a DUI on the strip going 5mph.

14. She was in the zone

Depending on your definition of disturbing, I once saw an old woman with uncontrollable diarrhea at a video slot machine. She didn’t bother to leave.

15. The regulars

I spent a couple weeks as a Slot Girl at a casino. That is the girl who pushes around the big cart of change and drinks.

The most disturbing thing I have seen would be the regulars. You know they had no business being in a casino, they were unkept, unwashed and wearing the tattered clothes and shoes with half the sole ripped off.

Day after day, they would come, toss what little money they had into a slot machine and hope today was their lucky day.

It was never their lucky day.

16. Stargazing

I was working as a security guard in one of the shops. One day this nice old lady comes up and she’s eating a cheeseburger, so I kindly tell her that there’s no food allowed in the store. She smiled at me and said “No worries.” She proceeded to finish her cheeseburger in front of the store and chatting with these two huge dude in leather jackets she was hanging out with. The manager at that point runs over to me and whispers to me. “WHY DID YOU NOT LET HER IN???”

I told her I’m just following store policy, and the lady didn’t get mad or anything so I wasn’t sure what the big deal was. “That’s Celine Dion!” I looked at her. She had no makeup and was dressed like one of us commoners but sure enough it was Celine Dion, the two big dudes were her body guards. She’s a headliner and was on a shopping break. She proceeded to enter the store, randomly bought just about everything that tickled her fancy.