Whole Foods? It’s more like Whole Paycheck, right? Hey-o!
I kid, I kid…
I like Whole Foods but it certainly has it’s niche, doesn’t it? And by niche, I mean expensive. Let’s just say that I go there about once a year for the salad bar…
Let’s get into these funny tweets about shopping at Whole Foods, shall we?
1. This might get ugly.
It's West Side Story in the Whole Foods parking lot as two dads in cargo shorts fight over a parking spot, brandishing Audi flip keys like switchblades.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) April 21, 2018
2. That helps.
Just told a guy who cut me off in the Whole Foods parking lot to eat a bag of dicks but then thought better of it and added THEY'RE ORGANIC
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 10, 2015
3. She’s been there for hours.
This woman at Whole Foods is choosing a bundle of asparagus more carefully than I chose my husband.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) November 20, 2014
4. I’m sure people really appreciate this.
I'm here for a good time not a long time, ma'am… and also this thyme.
*holding up the line at Whole Foods
— JEFF WILD (@jiffywild) April 13, 2018
5. Wish that was on video.
i just remembered the time i was at Whole Foods and a girl took a “broken, do not use” sign off the door a took a selfie with it over her heart and then dropped the sign and walked directly into the broken doors
— lil phag (@elijahdaniel) February 16, 2019
Amazon is buying Whole Foods for 13.7 billion dollars. And that's just the price of the apples!
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 16, 2017
7. Kind of pointless…
Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
— Mikey (@KrunkedRobot) January 21, 2016
8. Five-second rule?
THE WORST: I just spent $30 on apples at Whole Foods and then dropped both of them!
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) February 21, 2012
9. A very good point.
If all the gluten-free vegan yoga weirdo customers at Whole Foods are so healthy, then why are they so fucking angry?
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) March 20, 2015
10. Balls of steel.
carry yourself with the confidence of a white dude with 16 items in his cart while standing in the "10 items of less" line at Whole Foods
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) January 18, 2019
11. Is this real?
We bought condensed milk at Whole Foods and it looks like the fake food that my kid has in his play kitchen. ? pic.twitter.com/ta7718Q7qb
— Celeste Ng (@pronounced_ing) November 21, 2018
12. Endlessly wandering.
I'm wandering around Whole Foods like tom hanks in The Terminal
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) March 10, 2015
13. Think about this before you commit.
going to cash in my 401k so I can start shopping at Whole Foods
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) November 2, 2012
14. That’s the cheap one!
I just went to Whole Foods and asked for a rec for a good cheddar for mac and cheese, and the employee directed me to a $42.16 block of cheddar. I'm trying to figure out whom I should sue.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) November 18, 2018
Omg so embarrassing. So I go shopping at Whole Foods and get all the way to the register only to realize I forgot I don't have a trust fund.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 23, 2016
Are you a Whole Foods shopper?
Do you think these tweets hit the mark?