How-to books have long been a staple of the publishing industry, and it’s easy to see why: from time to time we all need to learn how to do something, and a good how-to book is a great place to start. There are how-to books on every possible subject you can think of, from woodworking, to self defense, to writing how-to books.
And with so many how-to books available, it should be no surprise that some are a bit more helpful than others.
1. Fancy Coffins To Make Yourself
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I know what I’m making everyone for Christmas this year!
2. How To Avoid Huge Ships
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Step 1: stay on dry land.
3. Drink As Much As You Want And Live Longer
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Barnes & Noble has this book in their “Frauds & Scams” section.
4. Identifying Wood
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“Yep. It’s wood, all right.”
5. How To Good-bye Depression
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I don’t know if butt kegels do help with depression, or if butt kegels don’t help with depression, but I do know one thing: it’s really fun to say butt kegels. Butt kegels.
6. How To Date A White Woman
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This one miiiiiiight be problematic.
7. Pornogami
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Always practice safe origami.
8. The Manly Art Of Knitting
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In this book, you’ll only learn how to knit MANLY things, like rifles, hamburgers, and male pattern baldness.
9. Knitting With Dog Hair
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I can only hope the authors of Knitting With Dog Hair will someday join forces with the author of The Manly Art Of Knitting and write Knitting With Man Hair. Stop emptying your shower drain, and start knitting!
10. How To Cook Without A Book
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Mind blown.
11. How To Shit In The Woods
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Unless Kathleen Meyer is a bear, this book is a fraud. Bears are the only true experts on this subject.
12. Bombproof Your Horse
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What I want to know is, why does Sgt. Rick Pelicano’s horse have so many enemies?!
13. Microwave Recipes For One
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Well now I’m bummed out.
14. Make Your Own Sex Toys
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It’s so tacky when someone shows up to an orgy with store bought sex toys instead of homemade.
15. How To Write A How To Write Book
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Back cover testimonial: “Me better a book writer made this. Buy must!”
h/t: Huffington Post