A playground is supposed to be a happy, safe place where kids can play free from worry. It’s not very complicated! You and I could probably get together at your local Chili’s and think up a serviceable playground over a couple Zima’s. But do some playground designers get it wrong? You bet they do!
It turns out a sizable percentage of playground designers are perverts, sadists, or both. Let’s take a look at the fruits of their labors!
I would recommend getting a tetanus shot before you read this article.
1. No More Coddling
You gotta toughen them up sooner or later.
2. The Anatomy Lesson
“Hey, kiddo, rememeber the other day when you asked me where your baby sister came from? Just look at this slide. I’ll be in the car.”
3. Grate Job
Freshly grated toddler, anyone?
4. Riding The Dragon
PLAYGROUND DESIGNER #1: What should the slide look like?
PLAYGROUND DESIGNER #2: How about a dragon that just tried mushrooms for the first time?
PLAYGROUND DESIGNER #1: Um, do we share a brain? Because I was JUST THINKING THAT!
5. Poop Chute
Coming to Animal Planet this fall…Elephant Proctologist.
6. It’s A Mixed-Use Property
It’s like those combination Taco Bell/Baskin Robbins places, but with more ghosts.
7. Whiz Kids
Don’t cross the streams!
8. Damn Teenagers
How do I know teenagers did this? I used to be one.
9. Big Red
You should definitely have a doctor look at that, friend.
10. Have A Seat
It’s nice that parents can have fun at playgrounds, too.
11. What Could Go Wrong?
“You mean I haven’t been nominated for an award for excellence in city planning? Again?”
12. The Clown’s Mouth
Pretty sure I saw a horror movie about this.
13. Walter White Giving A Checkup To A Bear
That’s what that is, right? That has to be what that is.
14. Human Centipede? Human FUN-tipede!
Don’t Google it. Just don’t.
You Googled it, didn’t you?
I warned you.
15. And finally, just…no.
Are cops allowed to arrest an inanimate object? They should be.