15 Pillows You Won’t Want To Put Your Head On

Pillows are one of those everyday objects that most of us probably don’t appreciate. We should! Not only is a decent pillow essential to getting a good night’s rest, it’s also important to your health. According to this study by the University of Rochester Medical Center, a pillow is important for proper spine alignment. And while you might think pillows are a modern convenience, there’s evidence that humans have been using pillows for thousands of years. Point is, pillows are a lot more important than we might think they are.

But there are some people who aren’t satisfied with pillows that simply give them good posture. These people insist that their pillow be special and unique. As you might imagine, since we live in the age of the Internet, this means there are some pretty weird pillows out there. Here are 15 of the strangest.

 

1. The Make-Out “Practice Pillow

Worst things you can practice kissing on:

1. Pillow
2. Pet
3. Sibling
4. Pillow with a built-in mouth

2. The “Zaky” Hand Pillow for Babies

Babies crave their parents’ touch, but no parent can possibly hold their baby 24/7. That’s where the Zaky comes in. Much more convenient than using someone’s severed hand.

3. “Fresh Salmon” pillow

Now you can take a nap on a fish without getting banned from all your local koi ponds.

4. LED Pillow with a built-in wake-up light.

This one has an LED light that slowly wakes you up, and it’s an alarm clock. Not recommended for excessive droolers.

5. The “Pillow Safe”

Keeping your money under your mattress? That’s what paranoid kooks do. Keeping your money in your pillow, though? Genius.

6. The “ThenCry” Pillow, with a built-in tissue dispenser.

It’s perfect for the sniffles, or for those nights when you cry yourself to sleep wondering why you’re still alone.

7. The “Pillow Shirt,” for workplace napping

Looking like a complete idiot is a small price to pay for not being remotely comfortable.

8. The Boyfriend Pillow

If you can’t find a boyfriend, get the next best thing: a pillow that looks like Robert Pattinson after he got stung by a bunch of bees.

9. The Hizamakura “Lady Lap” Pillow

You could also get a pillow that looks like the sun, if your theme is “Pillows of things I will never touch.”

1o. The “Boyfriend Arm” Pillow

See, ladies? You can objectify, too! #equality

10. The Pillow Cap

The pillow hat that will make people get as far away from you as they possibly can.

11. The Ostrich “Nap Anywhere” Pillow

Nap anywhere! On the bus! On a park bench! In a police station after you’ve been arrested for disturbing the peace! Endless possibilities!

12. A Godfather-style horse head pillow.

A pillow that says “I mean business,” and also says, “I’m too much of an animal lover to hurt a horse.”

13. The Pillow Remote

Now you can change the channel without getting up from the couch! Version 2.0 includes a built-in catheter.

14. A pillow with attached human hair.

This one isn’t for sale, it’s actually an art project by Kate Kretz. By that same token, I will be exhibiting the yellow sweat patterns on my old pillows at the Guggenheim this fall.

15. The “Nicholas Cage in a Banana” Pillow

There really is a fetish for everything.

 

 

h/t: Guff

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