The struggles of adulthood are real, people. Those little rugrats can push people to the edge of sanity if they don’t take a break to vent once in a while.
These parents took to Twitter to share their pain.
Moms and dads, do any of these stories sound familiar…?
1. Nice thing to wake up to.
Of all the terrible ways to be woken up I think, “mommy, my fart is on the floor,” takes the cake. 😳😂
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) November 7, 2019
2. Avoid at all costs.
Thanksgiving Pro Tip:
Never eat any food offered to you by an adorable toddler relative. It might look like a cookie, or piece of candy, but it’s actually the flu.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 22, 2017
3. Money well spent.
Me: *spends time picking out stuffed animals I think my daughter will love and get attached to*
My daughter: *sleeps with and carries around a lemon*
— Fossilized Tree Resin (@Jamberee13) November 13, 2019
4. We have big news!
My husband and I decided we don't want to have children.
We will be telling them tonight.
— Natasha Huckfield (@dramadelinquent) November 11, 2019
5. All parents dread this.
*Loud crash from another room*
Toddler: NOTHING!!
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) November 13, 2019
6. It never ends…
[at my funeral]
MY KID: *leans into my coffin and whispers* can i play a game on your phone?— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) September 11, 2019
7. How could you?
I accidentally flushed the toilet instead of letting my kid do it which in the toddler community is a crime punishable by death.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) October 3, 2019
8. Very good.
Me: What's the first rule of cooking?
4: Don't put your hands in your butt.
Me:
4:
Me: Correct.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) November 13, 2019
9. Genius!
My 9-year-old daughter has taken an old lip balm tube and filled it with cheese so she can eat it in class. pic.twitter.com/YEAqZx2wnr
— Valerie Schremp Hahn 📰 (@valeriehahn) September 17, 2019
10. It’s all coming out.
No one makes more observations than a child sharing a stall with his mother inside a public restroom.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) August 5, 2019
11. Following Mom’s lead.
Me: *annoyed that 3yo never wants to get in the bath and then never wants to get out of bath*
Also me: *procrastinates getting in the shower because comfy and lazy and then doesn’t want to get out of the shower because comfy and lazy*
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) November 13, 2019
12. I lost.
me: sorry we're late
teacher: it's ok
me: she didn't want to put on pants
teacher: where are her pants?
me: she won— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) October 23, 2019
13. LOL.
I was reading to my kids today and in the story, there was a pregnant woman.
My 3 year-old asked, "What happened to her belly?"
I replied, "There's a baby in there."
3 was horrified; "She ate a baby?!"
Sensing a good opportunity, I said "Yes."
Sleep well tonight, kid.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 7, 2019
14. Don’t even bother.
50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 13, 2019
15. You said that out loud.
At 2 1/2 year well check for my toddler:
Pediatrician: Is she mimicking behavior? Like, pretending to make phone calls like you do?
Me: Like pretending to shave her lady parts in the shower with a toy razor?
Pediatrician: What!?
Me: What?— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) November 7, 2019
Parents, share some of your funniest and most painful stories about your kiddos in the comments.
Remember, you need to vent!