Being able to roast your parents is an art form. Not everyone can excel in this field, but if you can, you deserve our honor and respect.
These kids did a pretty damn good job, in my opinion.
1. Hahaha
Me to my son: You remind me of me.
Son: That's just mean.— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 16, 2016
2. No it doesn’t!
My 6yo daughter just caught me getting out of the shower.
"It looks like a minion!"
— Wyn (@WynRichards) August 27, 2016
3. Thanks a lot
6yo: Mommy, when you get older will you look all gross?
Me: What do you mean, 'gross'?
6yo: Like how you are now, but wrinklier.
— Kristen Mae (@AbandonPretense) August 27, 2016
4. Burned
https://twitter.com/dontcallmetabby/status/1000063283154563074?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1000063283154563074&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fpleated-jeans.com%2F2019%2F03%2F21%2Fsavage-kids-roast-tweets%2F
5. You can starve from now on
Me: We all make mistakes.
5: Even you?
Me: Yep
5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 15, 2016
6. I know…
10: Mom what's a metaphor?
Me: My life is a train wreck.
10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
— 🌴Sardonic Tart🌴 (@SardonicTart) December 12, 2014
7. Is that what you call it?
https://twitter.com/LetMeStart/status/771451074200924160?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E771451074200924160&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fpleated-jeans.com%2F2019%2F03%2F21%2Fsavage-kids-roast-tweets%2F
8. Outside!
4-year-old: Can we get a kitten?
Me: I'm allergic. We can't be in the same house.
4: You could sleep outside.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2016
9. You little…
https://twitter.com/GretchenYa/status/642041436624437248?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E642041436624437248&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fpleated-jeans.com%2F2019%2F03%2F21%2Fsavage-kids-roast-tweets%2F
10. You look old
https://twitter.com/kirstenrourke/status/873225066204594176?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E873225066204594176&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fpleated-jeans.com%2F2019%2F03%2F21%2Fsavage-kids-roast-tweets%2F
11. No, thank you
https://twitter.com/ReasonsMySonCry/status/577507318532849664?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E577507318532849664&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fpleated-jeans.com%2F2019%2F03%2F21%2Fsavage-kids-roast-tweets%2F
12. Just look at her
Daughter: "You need to fix my hair before we go." Son: "You don't have to look nice. Look at mom. See?" #kidhonesty #parentingprobs
— Kris Redenius (@redenius_kris) July 20, 2015
13. Fossil?!?!
https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/790655704956743680?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E790655704956743680&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fpleated-jeans.com%2F2019%2F03%2F21%2Fsavage-kids-roast-tweets%2F
14. Shouldn’t have pointed that out
Berlyn: "daddy, ur hair is growing in the wrong direction! Its going back in ur head instead of out!".ouch! #kidsaretoohonest
— CoCoChristies (@coco_christies) April 1, 2013
15. The kid knows
Me to my 5-yr-old, balancing precariously on a stool: "Be careful – that's not very stable!"
Her: "YOU'RE not very stable!"#kidburn
— Gabby (@GabnDad) March 11, 2017
BURNED. To a crisp.