Let’s take a break from all the terrible news in the world right now and have a laugh, dammit!
Laughter is served!
1. All good
Today I thought I saw a woman dressed as a handmaid about to jump from a building. I called 911. pic.twitter.com/EIrz6wR0bz
— Casey McCormick (@itsmeCaseyMc) May 21, 2019
Leonardo DiCaprio in 1997 finding out the news his future girlfriend has just been born. pic.twitter.com/wjBrncdEiA
— my sexuality is dan levy's eyebrows (@SaimaFerdows) May 22, 2019
"…and I, Brienne of Tarth, am the first women to write on Game of Thrones since season 3…" pic.twitter.com/iZevZvdLKy
— Cat Staggs SDCC recovery mode ?️? (@CatStaggs) May 20, 2019
4. Ain’t faire
It was supposed to be the summer of their lives. But life… isn't faire.
RENN FAIRE. THIS SUMMER ON FOX. pic.twitter.com/cxfBLxtYPr
— Toby Herman (@tobyherman27) May 20, 2019
“Oh my god I’m so wet” – sink countertops
— Anna Drezen #edfringe (@annadrezen) May 23, 2019
6. Either way
I’m 39 and still not really clear how boners work. Like do you get them when you see a really good looking cheese plate or is it really just a sex thing?
— ghost mom (@radtoria) May 22, 2019
7. The payoff
The wedding is the happiest day of your life because all the days leading up to it are hell.
— Emily McKenna Winter (@EmilyMcWinter) May 24, 2019
Truffle oil tastes like it was squeezed from the forehead bandana of a “Chopped” contestant who cooks at a gastropub in Minnesota, has multiple quotation tattoos and yells at his girlfriend
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) May 24, 2019
9. Don’t take this the wrong way…
Social media causes me so much anxiety. I could literally comment, "?," and then spend the next four hours worrying that it was taken the wrong way.
— Maria Wojciechowski (@RiaWojo) May 21, 2019
10. That’s okay
I am the Michael Jordan of only knowing the names of a few very famous athletes
— Cathy Humes (@CrappyFumes) May 22, 2019
11. It takes a while
Whenever somebody tells me they like a bar because the bartenders are nice, I immediately know they’re a dog person. I like my bartenders to actively hate everyone in the bar but gradually warm up to me after 2-3 years.
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) May 23, 2019
12. Treasure trove
Things you'll find in a woman's purse that we never talk about:
1. Keys to a locker she hasnt used in years
2. Gum wrapper with words of inspiration that are barely legible
3. $2 bill for good luck
4. Reciept of something she was supposed to returned 4 months ago
5. a tooth
— Sydnee Washington (@Justsydnyc) May 23, 2019
13. Just don’t do it
All the *men want me and *all the women want to be me.
*landlords want me to pay rent
*I don't want to
— Megan Stalter (@megstalter) May 22, 2019
Funny stuff, ladies! Keep ’em coming!