Marriage is a constant give-and-take and the couples that get it right realize that you just have to roll with the punches sometimes if you want to keep your partner happy.
Guys, I’m looking at you.
You might want to take a page or two out of the playbooks of these fellas, because they seem to be doing it the right way.
Or at the very least, the funny way.
1. There’s no escape.
Txt from wife: where r u
Wife:can u feed cat
M: I mean garage
W:bring in laundry
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) March 16, 2015
2. Not our problem!
[out in public]
Me: A kid is crying.
Wife: It's not one of ours.
[we fist bump]
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 13, 2015
3. Go take a look…
ME: honey, it's really muggy out today
WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u
ME: *sips coffee from bowl*
— Max Dylan Ash (@mynameisntdave) June 15, 2015
4. Oh, there is.
Before I got married I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) June 10, 2015
5. Thanks for the vote of confidence.
I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me with those three very special words… Were you fired??
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) March 26, 2015
6. Don’t question these rules.
I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) September 21, 2014
7. This is great.
When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" People always clap when she wakes up.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 18, 2015
8. You’re dead wrong.
Relationship status: My wife asked me what I wanted for dinner and then told me I was wrong.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 22, 2016
9. Might as well just keep your mouth shut.
The Mrs and I have been married so long she can finish my sentences.
She also starts most of them and supplies the middle parts too.
— The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) April 12, 2016
10. That’s why.
therapist: so why do you want to end your marriage?
wife: I hate the constant star wars puns
husband: divorce is strong with this one
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) May 18, 2015
11. Get ‘er done.
When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 26, 2015
12. You’re not worthy of those towels.
Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife's home.
— Quarantine Troy Johnson (@_troyjohnson) May 28, 2015
13. It’s a wonderful life.
Marriage is about finding that special someone to disagree with about the room temperature until you die.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 21, 2016
14. Well, it’s quite a story…
[runs to the door to greet wife]
I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident involving all the things you asked me to do today.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) February 28, 2016
15. Not my turn right now.
Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain
Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain]
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) March 6, 2016
Are these guys speaking the truth, or what?
Now we want to hear from you!
How do you stay sane and make sure your significant other is happy? Oh, and you need to be happy, too…I almost forgot about that…
Talk to us in the comments!