To start today’s article, here are some quick facts about our planet. Earth has been around for over 4 billion years, and it’s hosted around five billion different species of animals, including humans. Almost every species that’s ever lived–99.9% of them, to be exact–have already gone extinct, but that still leaves 8.7 MILLION different species alive right now.
With such a variety of creatures living on the blue planet, you’d think Earth boasts incredible biodiversity. And it does…to an extent.
Because it turns out nature recycles the same designs over and over again. Instead of coming up with a brand new animal each time one evolves, sometimes nature just goes, “Eh, this one’s going to look like a human penis.”
OK, I’ll be honest…those animal facts above don’t really have anything to do with this article, but I figured you should get something educational out of this.
And now, on to the dick animals.
1. The Elusive Deep Sea Dildo

Photo Credit: IB Times UK
Real name: Peanut worm
2. The Party Starter

Photo Credit: Reddit
Real name: Granulated sea star
3. The Manaconda

Photo Credit: Matt Roper
Real name: Atretochoana eiselti. It’s also literally referred to as “the penis snake.” Poor fellow.
4. Wonder Worms

Photo Credit: Wikipedia
Real name(s): the penis fish, or the fat innkeeper fish (when kids are around.)
5. Mr. Wrinkles

Photo Credit: Smithsonian Magazine
Real name: Naked mole rat
6. Cock-a-doodle-doo

Photo Credit: Pinterest
Real name: Rooster, obviously
7. Thanks for the tip.

Photo Credit: Imgur
Real name: Sea anemone
8. Damn, Clam

Photo Credit: Wikipedia
Real name: Geoduck clam
9. The Very, VERY Hungry Caterpillar

Photo Credit: Latin Live
Real name: Priapulid
10. Oh Nose

Photo Credit: Pixabay
Real name: Proboscis monkey
11. Think Pink

Photo Credit: Sci News
Real name: Hoosier cavefish
12. The early bird wanted no part of these.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia
Real name: Acorn worm
13. Ouch

Photo Credit: Thailand Living
Real name: Nepenthes. Technically it’s a plant, but it’s a carnivorous plant!
14. Oh dear god

Photo Credit: The Young Turks
Real name: Sea lamprey
15. And finally, your worst nightmare.
Credit: Youtube
Real name: Spoon worm
h/t: Buzzfeed