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Language evolves over time. Something that might have sounded perfectly innocent in 1950 might today sound like something from a raunchy R-rated comedy.

To see this in action, check out these vintage ads that used to be wholesome, but now just sound filthy.

Life is full of miracles. You just have to look for them.

 

1. Snickers

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

Meet my son, Ed. It’s short for “Oedipus.”

2. Heinz Vinegar

Photo Credit: Flickr

We could debate whether Heinz Vinegar is the best vinegar, but we’d just be going ’round and ’round in circles. Tiny circles. Counter-clockwise.

3. Continental Oil Company

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

It’s the official motor oil of SPRING BREAK LAKE HAVASU, BABY! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (Also, can I borrow some Valtrex?)

4. “Tastes Like Grandma” Blackberry Jam

Photo Credit: Huffington Post

Grandpa can’t get enough of it.

5. Old Dick chocolate bars

Photo Credit: Pinterest

This chocolate bar just doesn’t satisfy like it used to.

6. Munsingwear’s Underwear For Men

Photo Credit: Psychology Today

Munsingwear underwear: for when your power bottom wants a comfy bottom.

7. Skinless Frankfurters

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

It’s the preferred wiener for nine out of ten mohels.

8. This bike ad

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

Something tells me he’s never riding that bike again, not even on his birthday.

9. Chiquita Bananas

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

To be fair, there’s almost no way to advertise bananas without innuendo. Chiquita should really just go in the opposite direction and lean into it. Chiquita Bananas: the penis fruit.

10. Grand Rapids Milk

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

I bet Walt is spinning in his grave cryogenic freeze chamber.

11. Lavano Leder Lederhosen

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

NAMBLA members receive 20% off.

12. Bear Brand Hosiery

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

Come on, how did they not realize?

13. Ban-Lon sausages (?)

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

It’s the official food for polygamists everywhere. Ban-Lon: so tasty, your third will ask for seconds!

14. Lucky Brand Cigarettes

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

There’s no way this is intentional. For that to be the case, it would mean a cigarette company would be using sex to sell their product! Outlandish!

 

h/t: Vintage Everyday


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