Language evolves over time. Something that might have sounded perfectly innocent in 1950 might today sound like something from a raunchy R-rated comedy.
To see this in action, check out these vintage ads that used to be wholesome, but now just sound filthy.
Life is full of miracles. You just have to look for them.
Meet my son, Ed. It’s short for “Oedipus.”
2. Heinz Vinegar
We could debate whether Heinz Vinegar is the best vinegar, but we’d just be going ’round and ’round in circles. Tiny circles. Counter-clockwise.
3. Continental Oil Company
It’s the official motor oil of SPRING BREAK LAKE HAVASU, BABY! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (Also, can I borrow some Valtrex?)
4. “Tastes Like Grandma” Blackberry Jam
Grandpa can’t get enough of it.
5. Old Dick chocolate bars
This chocolate bar just doesn’t satisfy like it used to.
6. Munsingwear’s Underwear For Men
Munsingwear underwear: for when your power bottom wants a comfy bottom.
7. Skinless Frankfurters
It’s the preferred wiener for nine out of ten mohels.
8. This bike ad
Something tells me he’s never riding that bike again, not even on his birthday.
9. Chiquita Bananas
To be fair, there’s almost no way to advertise bananas without innuendo. Chiquita should really just go in the opposite direction and lean into it. Chiquita Bananas: the penis fruit.
10. Grand Rapids Milk
I bet Walt is spinning in his
grave cryogenic freeze chamber.
11. Lavano Leder Lederhosen
NAMBLA members receive 20% off.
12. Bear Brand Hosiery
Come on, how did they not realize?
13. Ban-Lon sausages (?)
It’s the official food for polygamists everywhere. Ban-Lon: so tasty, your third will ask for seconds!
14. Lucky Brand Cigarettes
There’s no way this is intentional. For that to be the case, it would mean a cigarette company would be using sex to sell their product! Outlandish!
h/t: Vintage Everyday