Moms and dads of the world…how are you holding up out there?
Is this shutdown getting to you? Are you perhaps going a little stir crazy?
We feel for you…we really do…
That’s why you need to take a few minutes, lock yourself in the bathroom alone, and enjoy these funny tweets that really get to the heart of parenthood.
Because you know that if you can’t laugh…you’re gonna cry…hysterically…in the fetal position on the floor in your closet.
And nobody wants that!
So enjoy these tweets, okay?!?!
1. These are the rules.
Words of wisdom…
Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 21, 2020
2. You ate the game?!?!
What were you thinking?
My kids got a Candy Land board game made out of chocolate, and they couldn't wait to play. When it was time to play we couldn't find it. Turns out someone ate it. I was my 4yo, she ate the whole game.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) July 22, 2020
3. That’s you guys being quiet?
I hope you didn’t get too mad at them.
“ARE MOMMY AND DADDY AWAKE”
“I DONT KNOW I THINK THEY’RE STILL SLEEPING”
-my kids trying to be quiet this morning
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) July 23, 2020
4. Goodbye? What do you mean by that?
Keep an eye on this kid.
Last night I tucked my son in, kissed him goodnight and he hugged me and said "goodbye mommy" so I guess I won't be sleeping until he moves out.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) July 20, 2020
5. Seems a little fast…
Care to explain, little one?
I wish I was as certain about anything as my 5yo is that she brushed her teeth thoroughly in 6 seconds.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 19, 2020
6. Not my time to deal with you yet.
I need more coffee for that.
Me: [sitting down on couch with first cup of coffee]
Child [coming out of bedroom]: good morn-
Me [pushing child back into bedroom]: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 23, 2020
7. That wasn’t very cool.
A blow to the ego.
Me: You're my favorite 6-year-old.
6-year-old: You're my second-favorite dad.
Me: Who's your favorite?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 21, 2020
8. Over and over again.
Doesn’t hurt that bad!
Motherhood is accidentally dropping your phone on your baby’s head while breast feeding and then repeatedly dropping it on your own head to make sure it didn’t hurt the baby too much.
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 17, 2020
9. I’m sure they’ve thought of this.
A brilliant idea, though.
If the government ever needed new devices for terrorist interrogation just saying toddlers aren’t the worst idea
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) July 22, 2020
10. That’s really all they care about.
Give me more food!
If I was dying and had one breath left my kids would probably look at me then ask me for a snack, and I would use my last breath to say, "you just had a snack…" I would die and my kids would get a snack anyway.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) July 18, 2020
11. It seeped right into your brain.
What’s happening to me?!?!
I used my kid’s shampoo and spent the next 6 hours telling what could be a 5 minute story.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 21, 2020
12. It sounds like a lot of fun!
On second thought…why don’t you all just play inside?
My favorite part of summer is when my kids ask for the sprinkler and then I turn on the sprinkler and then they cry hysterically if they get wet from the sprinkler and then they yell at me to turn the sprinkler back on after I turn it off
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) July 21, 2020
13. Ouch…sorry Dad.
Do you have anything else that might be more interesting?
3 told me she wished her twin brother would ‘put his penis away because it’s not very interesting to look at’ and I asked her how long she’d been eavesdropping on my conversations with her dad
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 20, 2020
14. That is NOT COOL.
How dare that kid pull this?
I grew a 10 lb baby, had a c section, breastfed for 8 months, and this little punk just called me "Dada"
— Some Boys' Mother (@someboysmother) July 21, 2020
Have your kids done anything really funny, annoying, crazy, or ridiculous lately?
If so, please tell us all about it in the comments!
We can’t wait to hear from you!