It’s that time again! I’m talking another installment of hilarious and uproarious tweets from moms and dads about the parenting life.
We know you love your little kiddos, but sometimes you just have to take to the Twitter-verse to put them on blast when they do some ridiculous stuff.
Here are 14 very quality tweets that we think you’ll enjoy.
1. No, I’m just done with it.
7-year-old: I'm done with homework.
Me: You did it?
7: That's not what I said.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 4, 2020
2. That drives me insane.
Apparently I’m the only person in my home who knows the recipe for ice cubes.
— Mystical441 (@Mystical441) February 16, 2020
3. Gonna make a scene.
My 3 year old, who doesn’t notice her pants are inside out or that her shoes are on the wrong feet, can spot a diced onion in her food from 3 feet away
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) February 5, 2020
4. What could be in there?
Me: What are you doing?
5-year-old: Playing with my pet.
Me: We don’t have a pet.
5-year-old: No YOU don’t have pet.
I’m suddenly very scared to go in her room.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 11, 2020
5. Sounds drunk to me.
3 year old threw herself across her dad’s lap. Her face was covered in peanut butter and she kept yelling “I WANNA COLOR.” Then she cried. Then she wanted a hug. Then she took off her shirt and yelled about how hot it was.
Who needs drunken nights out when you’ve got toddlers?
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) February 5, 2020
6. Not for you.
At lunch time my toddler asked me for more food. Right as I put her plate down with more food she said no thanks I'm done then I looked at her and said that's not for you and I sat down at the little table and started eating my food. The look of defeat on her face, priceless.
— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) February 17, 2020
7. Listen to my command.
Parenting is basically just punctuating every conversation with various commands:
“Yes, I like your picture. Put on your shoes.”
“My favorite color is yellow. Finish your breakfast.”
“No, fish don’t snore. Go brush your teeth.”
— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 1, 2020
8. The squinting game.
5: Why’re you looking at me?
5: I didn’t do anything!
Me: *squints harder*
5: OK, I colored on the walls.
Me: *squints harderer*
5: FINE, I’ll go to my room! How did you know?
Me: *still blind as fuck and unsure of which kid I’m talking to* I have my ways.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) February 9, 2020
9. That won’t be necessary.
7-year-old: Do you miss me when I'm at school?
Me: Of course.
7: I could stay home with you.
Me: I don't miss you that much.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 19, 2020
10. Pick your poison.
Welcome to parenting, your choices are:
A) Listen to your toddler scream and cry for 10 minutes because YOU opened their fruit snack.
B) Listen to your toddler scream and cry for 10 minutes because THEY don't know how to open their fruit snack.
— Moderately Mom (@momtribevibe) February 12, 2020
11. You little liar.
My 3rd grader told his teacher he was gonna be out of town for a few days and I told her I don’t know what he’s talking about and he will be in school tomorrow😂
— Reagan Gomez (@ReaganGomez) February 12, 2020
When I was a kid, I thought my parents were spelling out bad words to each other. Now I know they were just spelling out where the snacks were.
— Not the Nanny (@notthenanny) February 1, 2020
13. The laws don’t apply here.
Me: According to labor laws I’m allowed an hour lunch and two fifteen minute breaks
Store Manager: Ma’am you don’t work here and I’m not watching your kids for you
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) February 13, 2020
14. All the necessary supplies.
Wife: Have you got everything for the 5yo's birthday party?
Me *looks at Redbull, aspirin, valium and ear plugs* yes
— The Dad (@thedad) February 5, 2020
Parents, do those situations look familiar, or what?
Have your little monsters done anything hilarious or ridiculous lately?
Tell us about it in the comments!