I need some great tweets in my life…
And I want them right now!
And I guess I’m in luck, huh?
Because we got a righteous set of them right here!
Feast your eyes on these babies!
1. Him again…
I’m getting tired of this guy.
Oh great here comes James and his giant fucking peach
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) October 26, 2021
2. Showed them!
Have you tried this yet?
Whenever a magician tells me to “pick a card, any card.” I pull out my wallet and pick this one. pic.twitter.com/oVyQ8sWmEF
— Dan White (@atdanwhite) November 10, 2021
3. Some motivation for you.
Now I feel better.
If you’re feeling worried about how little you’ve achieved , remember that Bram Stoker didn’t write Dracula until when he was 50 and Dracula didn’t kill anyone until he was dead. ?#TuesdayMotivation #TuesdayThoughts
— R (@rikiweird) March 17, 2020
4. Don’t be rude, okay?
It’s really not nice.
in dinosaur culture it’s actually really insensitive to wish upon a falling star
— floptimus prime ribbon?ᵀᴹ (@FireBeets) November 9, 2021
5. Someone make this happen!
We all want this!
People who live in glass houses should wear fish costumes.
— Ozzy (@ozzyunc) August 1, 2021
6. Can I get in on this?
Sounds like fun!
my best guy friend and I made a pact: if we’re still single by age 25, we’re going head on over to the woods to hunt each other to the death
— audrey (@saint_audrey) April 22, 2021
7. I think you’re doing it wrong.
Just a little FYI.
Me *swallowing 4th wet t-shirt* this contest is hard
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) May 31, 2019
8. Seriously! Come on!
What are all the scientists out there doing with their time?
why isn’t there food that tastes good and has no calories we have the technology
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) November 17, 2021
9. I see what you did there!
A little yacht humor for ya.
[sailing club]
Me: Nice boat, I bet it cost a yacht
— Papple ??? (@pantless_papple) November 15, 2021
10. Feel free to use this!
I know I am…
sorry I couldn’t respond to ur text, supply chains are soooooo messed up rn
— e taylor (@erinisaway) October 28, 2021
11. I’m on board with this.
It’s a five-star place.
This restaurant deserves a Michelin star pic.twitter.com/vD2AmnbwDi
— Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) July 17, 2021
12. That’s all it used to take.
Not so much anymore.
I wish we could make friends as adults the way we did when we were kids. why can’t I just walk up to someone like “look at this rock it looks like a potato” and suddenly we’re best friends
— Sahana Srinivasan (@sahana_srini) October 26, 2021
Have you seen any funny tweets lately?
If so, share them with us in the comments.
We look forward to it!