When we say these tweets are killer, we’re really not trying to scare you.
We actually just want to let you know how cool and funny they are!
We’re trying to be hip like the kids out there, so we thought using that term would impress you.
Did it work…?
I knew it would!
Dig into these killer tweets, brah…and I’ll catch you on the flip side.
1. I always knew there was something off about him.
And now we have the proof, don’t we…?
BREAKING: Thomas the Tank Engine is a body shaming bastard pic.twitter.com/7i9bOrOBAj
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) March 6, 2016
2. I wish this would happen with my phone.
And don’t call me Shirley!
I put my phone in Airplane mode and now Leslie Nielsen won't leave until I promise to stop calling him Shirley
— kim (@KimmyMonte) March 7, 2016
3. Time to move along, partner.
Your coworker seems like a blast!
coworker: what's for lunch?
me: [eating] food, generally
cw: no, I mean what are you having?
me: an unwanted conversation
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) March 4, 2016
4. Thank God for guinea pigs.
What would we do without them?!?!
GOD: You all have a divine purpose
HORSE: I will plow man's field
COW: I will give man milk
GUINEA PIG: I will test man's shampoo
— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) March 5, 2016
5. I see what you did there!
"Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, can't you see?"
— maura quint (@behindyourback) December 10, 2012
6. Load up the white sauce.
This guy is obviously much classier than the rest of us.
cheers to my favorite guy of the day, who just called sour cream "white sauce" pic.twitter.com/GDbeDbSEpv
— the goat of all time (@bobby) March 9, 2016
7. I think you misunderstood him.
That really didn’t end well…
i always wear this epi pen its rly special. my friend gave it to me literally as he was dying it seemed very important to him that i have it
— KING RAINHEAD (@KingRainhead) July 10, 2013
8. Gee, thanks Dad!
Seems to be a lot of this going around…
dad: son, it's time i gave you something that has been passed down in our family through several generations *gives me alcoholism*
— ????? (@ChrisScarlette) February 26, 2016
9. Not a pretty picture.
Hey, at least you’re getting some action.
What she sees vs what I see pic.twitter.com/9qML6QknW9
— abel (@deepfriedboi) November 3, 2019
10. I bet that impressed her.
I’m gonna have to start using this one.
(to my date after each preview at a movie) the actual film will be much longer than that
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) May 2, 2016
11. I’m all for this idea!
And it can’t be the same book 12 times!
As the world gets dumber, I can't help but think Pizza Hut should give a personal pan pizza to every adult who reads 12 books over the summer.
— SCOTTY (@MarylandMudflap) July 10, 2019
12. I’m looking forward to doing this over the summer.
It’s good exercise!
me chasing after the ice cream truck pic.twitter.com/uFh6F3ad7x
— batkaren (@batkaren) May 1, 2016
Now it’s your turn, amigos.
In the comments, please share some tweets you’ve enjoyed lately that you think would be right up our alley.
Or some memes, photos, or jokes!
We thank you in advance for your contributions!