Are your kids being little angels lately?
Or are they acting like minions of the dark lord Satan?
You can tell us the truth…this is a safe space.
Well, while you ponder that important question, please enjoy these funny tweets about raising kids.
And hang in there!
1. You’ll never be on time again.
Just the way it goes.
If you’re looking for a reason to never be on time for anything ever again than having children may be right for you.
— Mike (@Parentpains) October 20, 2021
2. We’re glad you’re okay.
That was a close one!
*marked safe from listening to my 10 year old tell me her entire dream
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) November 3, 2021
3. What did I do with my life?
Childless people say this too, FYI.
Welcome to parenthood, at least once per day you rethink your life choices.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) August 4, 2021
4. Just never admit it.
Your secrets are safe with us.
You have to savor the little victories in life like when your spouse blames your kid for something you know full well you did
— Nostradadmus (@bigpoppadrunk) November 3, 2021
5. Dad, where are you?
You better keep it down!
73 percent of parenting is hiding from your kids in the other room so you can eat a sleeve of Oreos in peace.
— Dadof2Boys (@Dadof2crazyboys) November 7, 2021
6. Funny how that works.
If they only knew…
My favorite thing about being a parent is being told I am wrong constantly by someone who depends on me for food, clothing and shelter
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) October 27, 2021
7. The rundown.
You better believe it!
85% of parenting is waiting to be away from your kids so you can procrastinate rather than complete your to-do lists
— Mom With No Plan (@MomWithNoPlan) November 9, 2021
8. Set that one aside.
Save it for later!
My daughter is sad because she, and I quote, just found the perfect piece of popcorn but is already full of popcorn
— Crockett? (@CrockettForReal) November 10, 2021
9. Don’t say a word.
Don’t even breathe…
New rule: We don’t talk to mommy while she’s stress eating.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) November 9, 2021
10. She’s lying to you.
Time to put a stop to this.
My toddler is filled with wonderful stories about her day…none of which are real
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 12, 2021
11. Pretty much sums it up.
You nailed it!
A childless friend asked me what it was like having kids, so I cut her off mid-sentence and told a rambling story about a boy in class who made fart noises with his legs.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 5, 2021
12. This is not a joke.
She’s driving you mad!
Someone taught my daughter about ASMR and now she keeps sneaking up behind me and taking bites of crunchy food in my ear. I wish I was joking.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) November 2, 2021
Okay moms and dads, now we want to hear from you.
Give us a life update in the comments.
Thanks a lot!