It’s time to get up close and personal…with Twitter users, that is!
And we hope you’re ready to laugh because these folks bring the funny…as well as the honesty.
What else can you ask for, really?
You ready to get a double dose of humor AND some real talk? Let’s get started right now!
1. This man is a genius.
Teach me your ways, sir…
I purposely try to hide women’s to-go boxes on dates so that they’ll forget it in the car and I can eat it the next day ??
— Rubba. (@RubbaBand_Grant) April 18, 2021
2. Oh great, now your scabs are mad at you.
Just leave those things alone!
Me: *picks at a scab*
My blood cells who just spent hours building it: pic.twitter.com/qSHRlVkcFj
— ? (@sucray_) April 20, 2021
3. This fella has a point.
Dad bods it is! Boom!
shrek grossed 484 million just so we’re clear https://t.co/GmuMK2Momz
— sam (@TheAccountOfSam) July 18, 2018
4. You’re really putting it all out there, huh?
Don’t hold back now!
do lighthouses have wifi? i feel like i would be a great fit to work in a lighthouse. i love the sound of waves. i hate people. i look great in a cableknit turtleneck. i'm a terrific brooder. i would fuck a ghost if pressed.
— the winnipeg jorts ?️? no justice no peace (@dadvansss) April 18, 2021
5. Listen, I’ve been crunching the numbers…
I think I can make this work.
Me with $.75 in my savings account looking at real estate:
“Wow $1.4M for that? Not bad, not bad at all. pic.twitter.com/iJ32a0TqT2
— Mr. Diim?? (@Yellakydd) April 16, 2021
6. Yeah, what’s up with that?
But I thought that’s what you wanted!
Girls be like “I want an emotional guy” then stop talking to you after you cry when Sergeant Johnson dies in Halo 3
— Louie (@louis_vlone) April 19, 2020
7. I do this all the time.
Give some love to the little people!
do u ever watch a film to the end of the credits, pick a name, and think 'hey Clint Youngreen, assistant bear trainer #3, I bet you thought nobody would see you down here, nice job pal'
— shitty watercolour (@SWatercolour) September 15, 2018
8. Now we’re getting some real talk.
Times change, and that’s okay.
Yeah breakups hurt, but have you ever been a super talkative, enthusiastic person but slowly over the years & after trauma after trauma watch yourself become more quieter and quieter to the point where that enthusiastic bubbly person just isn't who you are anymore?
— .. (@AfiqqqqqS) March 28, 2020
9. That’s the only way I know how to do it.
Next question, please!
“ur overthinking this”
bro i have anxiety. i have no other type of thinking avaiIabIe
— ᴶ ᵃ́ ᵐ ᵉ́ ˢ ? (@onnlyfeels) April 20, 2021
10. I like this plan of attack.
That person is in for a big surprise.
Somebody used my card on Amazon for $3399 for a fucking LG fridge I can't wait to tell them to hold shipment till I can get to the warehouse so they can stuff me in that same fridge and upon arrival I'm jumping out and beating everybody ass at that address
— Plush Gawd ?? (@I_Be_kOoLz) April 14, 2021
11. Maybe it’s not the best time to quit drinking coffee.
Just take your time with this one.
Drug tip: If you stop drinking coffee for a few weeks, it only takes one cup for you to lean out the window and scream “YOU THERE, BOY, WHAT DAY IS TODAY??” at a confused goose.
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) May 16, 2018
12. You’re not getting anything done today, are you?
It’s okay, you can admit it!
I hate how I am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person
— Paprika (@AlexMarieMartin) December 10, 2020
Now it’s time…for you to put it all out there!
Do you think you’re up to the task? We really hope so, amigos!
In the comments, tell us something about yourself that you think might surprise us.
We can’t wait to hear from you!