Are you married?
Or maybe you were married in the past?
If so, we think these funny tweets about spending your life with that special someone are really gonna make you laugh…and maybe make you cry, as well.
Go ahead and take a look.
1. He overdid it.
Me: We need to buy a little bowl for the hermit crab our 3rd grader is bringing home from school.
What my husband heard: Buy a 36 gallon tank complete with Hogwarts Castle.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) October 20, 2021
2. Did you learn your lesson?
I sure hope so…
My wife put parental controls on Netflix because I watched one of our shows when she wasn’t home.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) October 26, 2021
3. Absolutely not.
Doesn’t sound too appetizing.
wife: you want to try these cheese crackers made from cauliflower?
me: [already on the phone with a divorce attorney]
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 21, 2021
4. Is this you?
I bet it isn’t.
every relationship has an “admin top,” which is the person who pays the bills and makes appointments
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) November 1, 2021
5. It’s like he’s here.
This is beautiful.
When my husband goes out of town on business, I put dirty clothes all over our bedroom floor and leave half empty water bottles everywhere so I feel close to him.
— Jawbreaker ❤️ (@sixfootcandy) October 28, 2021
6. We hope he makes it back okay.
I can see you staring out the window…
My husband has been gone for 6 months. He’s on his 4th tour of Ikea.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 25, 2021
7. I told you so!
Here we go again…
Sorry we’re late but my husband’s keys were exactly where I said they were
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) October 24, 2021
8. Not made up.
It’s all true.
The wife doesn’t buy me a birthday card every year but our car insurance agent does. She intercepts it and uses it as her card to me.
I wish I made this up.
— Crac⚡ked (@a_simpl_man) February 16, 2021
9. Be careful with that.
This is dangerous stuff.
My wife and I have to put drops in the cat’s eye before we go to work. Just in case you see a headline like “Couple mauled to death by two pound kitten” tomorrow
— Lord Hugh Mungus (@PoodleSnarf) October 22, 2021
10. That’s what she said.
Weren’t you listening?
Me: I really need to fix the settings on my computer
Husband: You mean I need to fix the settings on your computer
Me: That’s what I said
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 19, 2021
11. Not so delicate.
It is what it is…
They say women are delicate like a flower. My wife is delicate like a bomb.
— Dad Named Matt ?? (@mahnamematt) October 10, 2021
Now we want to hear from you.
Tell us how your marriage is going in the comments.
Thanks a lot!