Can you think of anything better than laughing at funny marriage tweets?
Go ahead and think about it, I’ll wait…
Okay, now that we’re in agreement, enjoy these funny tweets about married life!
1. Sick burn!
That one hurts.
Husband, watching the Olympics: I could totally do that.
Me: Drive the Zamboni?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 7, 2022
2. You’re really asking for it.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
Me: *tells my husband exactly where I’m going and what time I’ll be back*
My husband: *texting me* Where did you go and what time will you be back?
— Jawbreaker ?? (@sixfootcandy) February 4, 2022
3. That’ll show him.
Don’t let him forget.
i’ve been married for a little over six months and so far i’ve learned that marriage is being proud of fact that my partner used to be really good at an obscure sport, but also keeping a mental list of sick burns specifically about that sport for when i’m mad
— Erin Ryan (@morninggloria) May 7, 2021
4. That was easy.
He asked for it!
My husband asked if I wanted to do something fun today so I left him home with the kids.
Marriage is easy.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 19, 2022
5. It’s magic!
Did you learn a lesson?
My husband said we’d run out of kitchen towel so I performed that mind blowing magic trick where I got another one from the cupboard they’ve been stored in since we moved into this house 9 years ago I am very talented
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) April 7, 2021
6. I don’t think she likes that.
Just a gut feeling…
Wife: The masculine urge to…
Me *from the other room*: FINISH HER SENTENCES
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 22, 2021
7. You bet.
This is the way to live.
Wife: Did you return those phone calls?
Me: I called back 100 percent of the people I wanted to talk to.
Wife: So no one?
Me: Yes.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 5, 2022
8. The sound of marriage.
Used to it by now.
yeah i sleep with a white noise machine ive been married to him for almost 11 years
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 31, 2022
9. You have to choose.
It’s like a game show!
You can either have a good day or your husband can put a bookshelf together, you cannot have both
— Maryfairyboberry??♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) February 5, 2022
10. Thanks a lot…
Can’t live up to that.
My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) February 6, 2022
11. Not a secret.
Why does she do this to you?
My wife knows exactly where she wants to go for dinner, she’s just not telling anyone.
— Crac⚡ked (@a_simpl_man) February 1, 2022
Now we want to hear from you.
How’s your marriage going?
Give us an update in the comments.
Thanks in advance!