I sure love it when something hits the spot?
And I’m willing to bet that you probably do, too, right?
Anyway, these funny dad tweets DEFINITELY hit the spot.
Take a look and see for yourself!
1. Totally broke.
6-year-old: Do you have lots of money?
Me: I’m rich in other ways, like family.
6: So you’re broke?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 23, 2021
2. Not in my house!
Doesn’t sound like much fun…
My kids were screaming at each other.
I told them to stop fighting.
They said they weren’t fighting. They were playing “Karens.”
Now everybody is grounded.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 18, 2021
3. What kind of kid are you raising?
Marches to his own drummer.
As a parent, I was prepared for the boy to get into violent video games, but I was not prepared for him to become obsessed with a vineyard management sim called Terroir and get upset about critics slagging off his Zinfandel
— Will Wiles (@WillWiles) September 7, 2021
4. Yes, you did.
And don’t forget about it.
It would appear I have fucked up. pic.twitter.com/pLeGacil8y
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) May 7, 2021
5. Sick burn!
You asked for it.
my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) January 29, 2021
6. They had it coming.
You gotta put them in their place sometimes.
My 12yo is into scary movies but complained they aren’t scary enough so we just watched The Descent and wow you don’t always know when you fuck up as a parent but this was a big one.
— Andrew O. (@TheOrvedahl) October 18, 2021
7. That sucks.
Wanted some more sleep, didn’t you?
My daughter woke up at 6:06 today instead of her usual 6:00 because we let her stay up 5 hours past her bedtime last night.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 2, 2021
8. A big difference.
What kid are you gonna get back?
grandmas be like imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) September 21, 2021
9. I love this!
This is what good friends are made of.
My son on why Caleb is his best friend at kindergarten: “He doesn’t really speak English, so we can skip all the talking and just get right to the karate.”
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 1, 2021
10. This is hilarious.
Dad for the win!
I set out a suitcase to pack for my flight later today and spotted my 3 year old crawling inside it to hide. I casually zipped it up, yelled “I’M OFF TO THE AIRPORT, EVERYBODY!”, and carried it to the car. I’ve circled the block twice and my luggage hasn’t stopped laughing. pic.twitter.com/c6XVPMtOlF
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) June 25, 2021
11. It’s true!
You know it!
Half of parenting is just moving cups away from the edge of the table
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) September 5, 2021
Do you have any good dad stories?
Share some good ones with us in the comments.
Thanks a bunch!