Let’s take a moment to salute all the parents out there.
Do it now!
You work hard, you put up with a lot, and sometimes you don’t get recognized for your efforts.
And today you will be rewarded with funny tweets.
Go ahead and dive in right now!
1. Might need to come up with some new ones.
Just a thought…
Coaching smart 9 y/o girls is cool. You can tell them to “hold your bat like a sword” or “don’t have spaghetti arms” and you know they’re listening because they ask you, “Why are you using so many metaphors?”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 21, 2021
2. Sounds hot!
Tell us more!
If by sex party you mean my wife & I getting freaky in the living room while a bin full of our kids’ stuffed animals creepily watch, then yes I’ve been to a sex party
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 19, 2021
3. Pretty much.
Does this describe you?
You know you’re a mom if you only use your iron for craft projects
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 20, 2021
4. It can’t be!
Has to be made up.
There’s an urban legend going around that one time a kid went on a 20 minute car ride without a tablet or fidget toys.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 21, 2021
5. You need to have a talk with him.
Before this goes too far.
Just when I thought my 4 year old saying “cockcock” instead of chocolate was bad enough, he’s now started saying “cocklick” instead
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) October 17, 2021
6. She’s busy texting other people.
That is impressive, though…
My daughter found out that she can type 36.2 words per minute when texting. Which is odd because she always answers my texts with “k”.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) October 20, 2021
7. What’s happening here?
Something is off…
5: I made a mess so I’m going to clean it up!
Me: *waits for Twilight Zone music to start*
— Marissa ?? (@michimama75) October 20, 2021
8. That’ll leave an impression!
Scarred for life.
My 12yo is into scary movies but complained they aren’t scary enough so we just watched The Descent and wow you don’t always know when you fuck up as a parent but this was a big one.
— Andrew O. (@TheOrvedahl) October 18, 2021
9. Mr. Fancy Pants over here.
Get off your high horse.
Oh I get it, you think you’re better than me cuz your kid has both shoes on.
— Luke ☀️ (@RaDadtouille) October 20, 2021
10. That backfired.
In spectacular fashion.
5 year old: MOMMY THERE’S A FLY EEK
Me: We live in Costa Rica; there are flies and more down here. You need to start getting used to that.
5 year old: Ok…is that a roach by your foot?
Me: *jumps on her shoulders* OMGWTFHSLAIEUDSOISONGOUS WHERE?!
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) October 21, 2021
How are things for you at home with your kiddos?
Talk to us in the comment and let us know.
Thanks a lot!