Let me ask you a question…are you married?
If so, how’s it going?
Don’t lie to me!
Sorry, I got a little bit carried away there…
Listen, what do you say we enjoy some funny marriage tweets and forget about my outburst, okay?
Let’s do it!
1. Not the same anymore.
We know what you’re saying…
You know you’ve been married too long when your ‘husband’s junk’ refers to his shit in the garage.
— ?ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ? (@3sunzzz) March 19, 2022
2. Whatever you say.
There’s a bee in here!
Me: I am strong and competent and able to handle any challenge thrown at me.
Also me: *calls my husband because a bee keeps aggressively chasing me out of the kitchen*
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) March 13, 2022
3. This is a scam.
You better wise up.
My wife has no intention of ever sharing her blanket and yet every morning she asks me to help her spread it over the entire bed
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) May 28, 2021
4. Good luck with that.
You really blew it.
My husband called my bluff today 🙁 I asked him to do something and he said he would in a bit so I said “Fine, I’ll do it myself ?.” And he said, “Okay, good luck ?.”
— Farzana Banana (@FarzanaAlMauzah) March 14, 2022
5. Well, now you know.
There’s a wrong way to do everything.
Before I got married I didn’t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge.
— mariana Z?????? (@mariana057) March 16, 2022
6. There you go.
Didn’t see that coming.
When we legalized gay married I had no idea it meant that one day I’d have to slip into the bathroom with my husband in the middle of a party to swap outfits because “I just realized that would look cuter on me.”
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) March 20, 2022
7. Playing the hits.
I’m your wife. You might remember me from such hits as “I’m not hungry” and its sequel “Are you going to finish that?”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 8, 2022
8. Is that new?
Now you’re in trouble.
Marriage is wearing the same shirt for three days in a row and on the third day, your husband asking if you got a new shirt.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) March 17, 2022
9. Sorry about that.
There’s no way around it.
I can be in the living room and somehow still be in my wife’s way in the kitchen.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) March 12, 2022
10. Can’t talk about that.
my wife: can we talk about something?
me: what is it in regards to?
my wife: your coffee intake
— lucy bexley ? is on deadline (@bexley_lucy) March 14, 2022
How’s your partner doing?
Give us a life update in the comments.
And don’t be too hard on them, okay?