I need some laughs right this instant!
Does that sound like a great idea?!?!
Okay, now that we’re on the same page, let’s quit wasting time and get to the funny tweets!
1. Those two things were unrelated.
They had to be, right?
For the past 20 years I’ve received a Valentines card from the same secret admirer. So I was pretty upset when I didn’t get one this year. First my granny dies and now this.
— Colm Flynn (@colmflynnire) February 14, 2022
2. Good times!
Get ready for another round!
Always love this part of the pandemic where it slows down for like two months before it ramps back up
— Matthew Levy (@MattLevy51) February 16, 2022
3. We hear you…
Has anyone actually ever said this?
White person Guy trying to
claiming they’re fuck Barney
not racist the dinosaur
“I don’t care if you’re purple”
— Robin Tran ?️⚧️ (@robintran04) February 17, 2022
4. Might as well.
Can you get out?
I didn’t mean to join Brockhampton… I happened to be at a gelato place they were milling around in and then a guy with a headset came and told us all to get back on the tour bus and I was just like “Ok”
— Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) February 18, 2022
5. Treats are good.
i deserve a treat when i have a bad week but i also deserve a treat when i have a good week. i simply always deserve treats
— bettina (@bettinamak) February 18, 2022
6. Deep thoughts.
Something to think about.
if the mafia was going to kill me unless i made a super bowl commercial saying “i love dog shit” i would create so many jobs
— wint (@dril) February 14, 2022
7. That’s interesting.
Pretty much the same thing.
when a dog barks at nothing, it’s the canine version of making up a guy to get mad at
— bradley babendir (@therealbradbabs) February 16, 2022
8. Good point.
You are a genius!
“life is getting worse wah.” yes. life expectancy is plummeting, no one wants to have children anymore, we get it. but hair plugs and sugarless soda technology have both advanced about a century since 2010. both those things can solve the first two problems I mentioned
— 30 year old man saying he is homesick (@ByYourLogic) February 12, 2022
9. Right back at ’em!
Put them in their place.
dentist: so, are you flossing?
me: are you using a unique password for every account?
— chompie (@chompie1337) February 11, 2022
10. I can’t even think about it.
Too horrific to contemplate.
What’s with those tiny handles on the side of maple syrup bottles. Too small for human hands. So what are they for? Something horrifying I expect. Much to think about anyway.
— Mike Townsend (@townsendyesmate) February 12, 2022
Now we want to hear from you.
Share some funny tweets and memes with us in the comments.
Thanks a lot, friends!