If you’re familiar with American English slang of the 21st century, you’ve probably heard an uncomfortably warm day described as “hot as balls.” That’s because, as we all know, a gentleman’s dangly bits are notorious for getting hot and sweaty, even if he’s just sitting around.
But toasty nether regions are more than just an unpleasant fact of life for guys–they can also lead to problems with fertility. And that’s why Polish tech company Cooltec has invented the world’s first testicle cooler.
Say hello to the “CoolMen,” and say goodbye to stuffing bags of frozen tater tots down your pants!
The CoolMen is described as a pair of “intelligent underwear” that will up your sperm count, and it retails for about $305. The device’s cooling pouch cups the testicles comfortably, (one would hope so!), keeping them nice and cool for optimal sperm production.
The CoolMen also has a smartphone app, which it uses to keep track of your temperature and how long you’ve worn your CoolMen. It even records vital stats that affect sperm production, like your heart rate, calorie consumption, and how much you’ve walked. It’s like a Fitbit for your sack!
Finally, a male fertility specialist, (called an “andrologist”), can review your data and prescribe a treatment plan.
Why is having a cool package so important for guys? Time for a biology lesson.
Normal human body temperature is 37° C, (98.6° F), but sperm’s optimal temperature is one to two degrees cooler than that–this is why the testicles are positioned outside the body. (Thanks, evolution!) A normal sperm count is between 15 million and 200 million sperm per milliliter of semen, and if it drops below 15 million, it’s time for intervention.
Various factors can cause male infertility, from tight clothes to regular sauna use to using a warm laptop on your lap. Unhealthy lifestyle factors like smoking and obesity contribute as well.
Research has found that male fertility has been dropping for decades. A study by the Reproductive Medicine Associates of New Jersey found that 85% of men had sperm counts above 15 million in 2002. Now, that number is 79%. Overall, men in Western countries have 60% less sperm than they did about 40 years ago.
The World Health Organization calls infertility a global public health issue, but the folks at Cooltec are here to help.
For ideal results, Cooltec recommends you wear your CoolMen 12-16 hours a day, for 3-4 weeks. According to the company’s website, the CoolMen is not only effective at raising your sperm count. It’s also safe and comfortable–the cup is made of certified anti-bacterial materials, and it’s ergonomically designed for maximum comfort.
Best of all, the CoolMen is discrete. You can wear it under your underpants and nobody will know, whether you’re at work, on the bus, or performing a ballet recital.
The company even made a video that goes into great detail on how the device works, if you want the info.
It’s nice that the folks at Cooltec are trying to fix a worldwide problem, but they have an uphill battle. No matter how serious a problem infertility is, and no matter how well their device works, lots of people can’t help but laugh about the whole thing. The Cooltec was introduced a couple days ago and the story went viral–not because there’s a solution for male infertility, but because the whole thing is hilarious.
You can imagine what people said about it on social media. But we’ll share some of it with you anyway.
One woman suggested a much better name than “CoolMen.” How did Cooltec miss this one?!
Another woman had a question for Cooltec: when do the ladies get their version of the CoolMen?
Men were excited about the CoolMen, but some wished it offered a little more.
And of course someone had to make a shrinkage joke.
So if you’re a fella who suffers from a low sperm count, stop blasting your crotch with a mini fan, and start wearing a CoolMen. If you don’t, you’re nuts.