Before two romantic partners can officially become a committed couple, they first must first pass three thresholds: saying “I love you,” moving in together, and farting in front of each other. Plenty of couples are able to cross the first two without a problem, but the third one is the most difficult. Some people never fart in front of their partner, unless it’s by accident, and even then they’re usually mortified.
We should all be comfortable enough around our significant other to have bodily functions. But in case you’re not, here’s an even better reason to let one rip: your burning, sulfuric vapors are actually good for them! According to a study from the University of Exeter, the hydrogen sulfide found in farts has therapeutic benefits for several diseases.
Now, before you grab an oxygen mask and attach it with a hose to your partner’s rear end, know that huffing your partner’s farts directly isn’t going to benefit you. (Unless you’re into that sort of thing. We don’t judge.) The benefits occur on the cellular level. Hydrogen sulfide has been found to protect the mitochondria in our cells–mitochondria determines whether a cell lives or dies, and dysfunctional mitochondria is a hallmark of many diseases.
The Exeter scientists have replicated this natural process by creating a hydrogen sulfite-based compound called AP39. After introducing AP39 to stressed cells, they discovered that the mitochondria was protected, and the cells survived.
One test found that AP39 helped 80% of cells with cardiovascular disease survive. Early findings also showed AP39 as effective in lowering blood pressure and improving chances of survival after a heart attack. The Exeter researchers hope the compound can be used to treat strokes and cancer, and they’re working on a test for human subjects.
So the next time you bake up a tasty air biscuit in front of your S.O., don’t be embarrassed and definitely don’t apologize. Instead, tell them you’re actually improving their health. And if they ask for specifics, use your farts to propel your speedy escape.