Advertisement

Short Shorts: The Best Fashion Trend Of The 70’s

Advertisement

These days, the idea of a grown man wearing short-shorts is hilarious–the whole character of Lieutenant Dangle on Reno 911 was based on this comedic principle. But there was a time when wearing short shorts was not just the norm, it was considered cool. Just compare basketball players now with basketball players from the 70’s:

Photo Credit: Smithsonian

On the left, LeBron James. On the right, a guy who’s OK with people seeing his balls every time he jumps.

Today we’re taking a look at the shortest of short shorts, aka a 1970’s fashion trend that, as a man, I hope never makes a comeback.

1.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

Those jorts come in three sizes: “relaxed fit,” “slim fit,” and “low sperm count.”

2.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

HER: Sorry, hon. I thought I was hitting the birdie.

HIM: JUST GET ME SOME ICE!!!

3.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

Honestly, it’s not that impressive to call yourself a “streaker” when you’re already 3/4ths of the way there.

4.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

It’s gotta be tough fighting crime when everyone assumes you’re a Stripper Cop.

5.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

Male camel toe is real, and it’s a serious affliction. #solidarity

6.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

After they all sat on that van’s leather seats, it became known as The Summer of Skin Grafts.

7.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

Johnny Appleseed’s lesser-known cousin, Peter Plum Smuggler.

8.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

How can you smile when your shorts and your junk are having a fight to the death?

9.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

Pictured: three friends enjoying the view from atop Mount Moose Knuckle.

10.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

You gotta do what you gotta do. Even if that means putting talcum powder on your inner thighs.

11.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

No, the “unsung hero” is the pair of Jockey shorts just baaaaaarely keeping him from popping out.

12.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

Just wear a Speedo, guy on the left. You obviously want to.

13.

Photo Credit:

Magnum P.I., hard at work trying to solve “The Case Of Why Does Everyone Laugh When I Sit Down?”

14.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

“Hmmm, how do I make shorts-shorts even more humiliating? I could add a gold belt! And sandals that go all the way up my calves. And a weird hat. Dear god, I’m out of control! Somebody stop me!”

15.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

And finally, a photo I call “Lifeguard! Help! Um…on second thought, I’m good.”

 

h/t: Sad And Useless