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People Make Bad Choices at Office Parties. Here Are 18 of the Worst.

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Does your office even do holiday parties anymore?

A lot of offices stopped doing them – or stopped serving liquor, at least.

And, if you’re wondering why, all you need to do is scroll through the following 18 recollections of parties gone awry from AskReddit:

1. Hey, Diddle, Diddle…

My coworker basically diddled herself in the middle of my boss’s wedding reception.

In front of most of my boss’s extended family.

Good times.

2. Memories…

Our payroll manager got blackout drunk at a christmas party a few years ago and started insulting people and telling them that they weren’t worth how much they were getting paid (while quoting the actual salaries).

She was fired the next day, but didn’t even remember what she’d done.

3. “Awkward AF”

First year at the company. Married CEO all over an employee pretty much in front of the whole company. Awkward AF. Both really drunk. The fact that they didn’t start making out in front of everyone was a Christmas miracle.

4. Day Tripper

My coworker (who is also my friend before we started working there) trying to have sex with his gf in a river, while the whole company was around, along with their significant others and family.

P.S. this was on a canoe day trip

5. “Not super wild”

There was a co worker who arrived in a giant baby diaper with nothing else on except sneakers. And someone smeared chocolate frosting on his diaper at some point.

Not super wild, but this was a dry party.

6. “White-girl-wasted”

A bunch of people from the office decided to get together and head to a foam party, one of the girls got white-girl-wasted and stripped down to nothing but her panties and danced on one of the tables. Made for an interesting night!

7. Red, Red Wine

When I used to work for a large corporate law firm – a guy and a girl who both worked in the accounts team got in an argument. One thing led to another, and the girl threw her glass of red wine over his white shirt. Without missing a beat he just grabbed her by the throat and started choking her.

This was just off the side of the dance floor, in front of 300+ staff.

8. Never Cool

We had a “Mardi Gras” themed holiday party. One guy decided to bring his saxophone and be a “jazz man”. Normal enough, right?

Well, he also thought that to be a “jazz man,” he needed to show up in blackface.

9. “I was a manager, so I got to see the camera footage…”

I worked at Maccas and we had a work party. Some of the crew volunteered to run the night shift while the rest of us went 10pin bowling and drank scrumpies. I was a manager, so I got to see the camera footage the next day…

It was of me, walking around the restaurant and kitchen with my pants down, shaping my balls to look like a brain and making people look at my taught scrote. There were also brown-eyes and squashed-rats, which is where you press your dick and balls up against the glass. That was me in the drive-through window. I woke up horrified and knew I was in trouble.

There was a small fallout. I miraculously didn’t get fired; no one formally complained. My punishment was to wash car windows as they went through drive thru on my day off and donate the tips to the Ronald McDonald House charity.

10. Keg Stands

Just recently had my office christmas party, the location we went to was BYOB, so a bunch of us went in on a keg.

The head of HR was chanting for keg stands by the end of the night.