Nothing makes the Internet madder than a product that sums up everything wrong with society. Remember last year’s freakout over Whole Foods’ pre-peeled oranges sold in plastic containers? Well today, Nordstrom has everyone up in arms over a pair of “pre-dirtied jeans.”
That’s right. You can buy a pair of jeans that let you look like you just spent a hard day digging a trench for a septic line. And they only cost $425. Take a look:
Per Nordstrom’s tone-deaf product description, the jeans “embody rugged, Americana workwear that’s seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you’re not afraid to get down and dirty.”
Actually, it seems to show you’re very afraid to get down and dirty, because the mud isn’t even real. The jeans are just dyed that way, and the faux stains won’t come out in the wash.
Predictably, the Internet is pissed. Aside from the obvious objection that you can just, y’know, dirty up your jeans yourself, people feel Nordstrom is disrespecting working people everywhere.
Mike Rowe, host of Dirty Jobs, aka everyone’s favorite show that’s playing in the background of the Southwest terminal, posted about the jeans on Facebook: “Finally – a pair of jeans that look like they have been worn by someone with a dirty job…made for people who don’t.”
Meanwhile, snarky reviewers descended on the Nordstrom website. One gave the jeans a sarcastic five stars and said, “These are perhaps the best jeans I’ve ever owned. Perfectly match my stick on calluses.” Another gave them an honest one star, and said “This is a joke, right? Do you also sell jeans covered in cow manure? Oh, that must be the deluxe model.”
Pretty maddening. But if this still hasn’t left you sufficiently outraged for the day, know that Nordstrom’s also sells a rock in a leather pouch for $65: