Everybody has something they didn’t learn until waaaaaay later than most people.
Like, have you ever actually listened to verses of the Pina Colada song?
I won’t spoil that experience by going through it here. I think it’s best experienced by listening to it. So, if you know the song, but you don’t know what I’m talking about, then just know that it should be on your radar.
In the meantime, check out these confessions from late-learners on AskReddit:
#1. One is never enough
I was 23 when it came to my attention that an engagement ring and a wedding band are two separate things.
Isn’t one expensive symbol of uniformity enough?!
#2. This person must have thought sunflower seeds were horrible.
I didn’t realize you were supposed to chew sunflower seeds to get the seed inside…
I thought you just ate the black seeds whole…
#3. “How do they get it to fit in the can?”
“That tuna isn’t a little bitty fish, but a really big fish.”
#4. Homonyms are so confusing…
I thought the term ‘prima donna’ was ‘pre-Madonna.’ I always wondered what happened before her that would demand a new term.
A friend also asked me why Ellen was named Ellen ‘The Generous.’
He said, ‘I get that she is generous, but she isn’t that noteworthy. It’s not like she’s Alexander the Great or something.’
#5. I thought it was in New York, too, but not quite that long.
I’m 21. Until about a month ago I didn’t know that when people talked about New England that they were talking about the Northeastern U.S.
I thought the New England Patriots were from a city in New York.
I know that New Mexico is a state and not in Mexico.
#6. That’s no moon… Oh wait… It totally is.
A co-worker was helping me move something outdoors and he suddenly is staring at the sky bewildered.
I asked if he was OK and, I kid you not, he says, ‘Whoa! I can see the moon….and it’s day.’
He’s 24 and I had no idea how to respond to that.
#7. What about your significant other?
Difference between foreshadowing and foreplay.
Grandmother was amused, Mom was mortified.
My ex wife did not know helicopters could hover until around age 23.
She saw a copter over a scene in San Diego and asked me, ‘How is that helicopter just floating in one spot??’
I was like, ‘Wut?’
#9. Harvey ‘Toothpaste’ Dent
I was a few months away from turning 17, and The Dark Knight was coming out. I checked IMDB to see what actors and characters would be in it, and that’s when I learned that Harvey Dent’s evil nickname is ‘Two-Face,’ not ‘Toothpaste’ as I had always thought.
I never saw the name written down. In the animated series half his face was white, and the other half was blue, and I just never really questioned it.
The music is called ‘metal’ because it’s harder than rock.
#11. Yes, Virginia…
One time in 7th grade science, my class was having a discussion about volcanoes and then out of nowhere, a kid in the back yelled in the most surprised voice ever, ‘Wait! Volcanoes are real?!’
#12. Don’t shake babies.
The Beatles’ song Twist and Shout goes:
Well, shake it up, baby, now (Shake it up, baby)
We’re shakin’ a baby now (Shakin’ a baby).
1) I just learned that a wheel barrel is actually a wheelbarrow….what?
2) The ‘right of way’ when driving…I thought it was called the ‘right away,’ because if you have it, you get to go right away.
#14. Travel the alphabet
Until January of 2014 (when I was 28), I thought that the seven seas were the seven “Cs”, meaning the seven continents.
#15. Where are all the big Coopers?
At age 17: finally learned that a Mini Cooper is manufactured by the make Mini, and the line of cars is Coopers.
Until this, I always thought that Mini Coopers were miniature “Coopers”, and always wondered why I never saw regular full-sized Coopers.
I figured that the minis were just exceedingly more popular for some reason.
#16. “His arm is almost complete.”
I thought that when people lose a body part, their organism could regenerate the missing part until I was 13+.
If I saw someone with a half of an arm missing I thought, ‘Good! His arm is almost complete…’
Did you know spleens actually exist?
I swear, until I was 22 I just thought it was a word someone made up, because it sounded funny and visceral.
#18. That’s kind of, actually, in a weird way, exactly what it’s about…
I always thought the song I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus meant that the mother was having a torrid affair with a fat dude in a red suit, not that it was the father dressed in costume…
#19. Undergraduate or graduate student?
Somehow the conversation of superhero names came up with my girlfriend (29) the other day, and she mentioned Wolverine being named after wolves.
I kinda looked at her and said, ‘Wolverine was named after wolverines.’
She stared back blankly.
One Google Image search later and I had taught a biology major about a new animal.