20. You make her feel loved
Her lupus is getting much worse, much more quickly than she had expected. Apparently there’s a ton of scar tissue forming already even though she was only diagnosed two weeks ago. Her legs have swollen so much that she can’t bend her knees or walk without intense pain.
The worst part is that she always smiles when I come visit her and asks if I want to go hiking or play tennis (my favorite things). All I tell her is that I’m tired and I’d like to read comic books with her or just lay in bed.
21. Those darned viruses!
My ex always hid that he watched p*rn even though he knew I didnt mind.
The last time I caught him, I had gotten into my car to run errands. But he had his phone synced up to my car. I turned it on and after a few seconds, I heard the unmistakable moaning and slapping of a relatively decent p*rno. His mother was in the car with me and we both laughed like hyenas.
I sent him a text after about five solid minutes of listening and said, “Save that video. I want to watch it with you later.”
Cue the sounds turning off and a frantic text saying he was asleep and he had a virus on his phone so he had no idea where it came from.
22. Why do you need to know that?
I’m his first girlfriend. He’s 42.
Its nothing to be ashamed of, it’s just something he doesn’t know I know. I wish he’d been up-front about it in the beginning, but it doesn’t change how much I adore him in the least.
23. You did the right thing
A girl I dated a few years back had just graduated with her bachelors so I took her out for a night on the town. Her and our friends got absolutely demolished and I volunteered to be DD. When we get home, I put her into bed and she immediately passes out. I am sitting next to her watching some TV when I smell something.
I noticed that she had just pooped herself. She is one of those people who would be so ashamed of herself if anyone found out so I just… left.
I called her the next day and told her I dropped her off, got her some water and headed home. Never mentioned her accident herself or anything, so to this day she thinks she did it in her sleep after I left. I could have stayed and helped her clean it up and I probably should have, but she would have cried over that and avoided me for weeks.
24. Good interception
My girlfriend at the time decided to surprise me by buying a holiday to Brussels for us over my 30th birthday. I accidentally intercepted the hotel conformation email, so decided it was a good time to propose, as I’d been considering it for about 6 months.
Act all surprised when she tells me, then when we’re having dinner in the restaurant on the first night, I get down on one knee and propose.
Celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary at the end of next month.
25. Nice snack?
Everybody likes snacks, right? Some of us like chips, others like fruit, or yogurt. Well, my wife likes croutons. Frozen croutons to be exact. She tries to hide it like an alcoholic hides bottles of vodka.Where does she hide the croutons? In the freezer. At first I’d put them in the pantry when we get home from the grocery store, but they’d always end up in the freezer. I’d be like, “Uh, hun, what’s up with the croutons in the freezer?” And she’d act like she had no idea what I was talking about.
Now here’s the thing: I’ve tried them and now I’m addicted to them too. So now I openly eat cold croutons out of the freezer as a snack, and she tells me what a weirdo I am while she eats half the bag with me. No idea why she’s embarrassed to admit what a genius she is for discovering such an awesome snack.
26. I might have lied as well
My ex told me before we married that he lost his licence because he drove drunk. He had to retake his test. I later discovered that this wasn’t true at all – he’d never even had lessons before, let alone passed his test. He was such an idiot that he preferred me thinking he’d got caught driving drunk, than knowing the truth – that he didnt know how to drive.
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