25 Doctors Share the Funniest Things Their Patients Said While High on Anesthesia


18. Nicki Minaj

When I woke from having my wisdom teeth removed, I asked the nurse to take me to the beach and release me back into the ocean so I could be with my people. She kept refusing, so I started accusing her of fiddling with me whilst I was asleep.

I ended up getting moved to a different recovery area, where I was then asked to be quiet because I thought I was listening to Nicki Minaj, but in fact it was just me slaughtering the lyrics to an imaginary beat.

19. Totally ready

Not a doctor, but my dad had been given the goofy juice and was about to be wheeled into surgery. He looks at the anesthesiologist and asks, “Will the nurses have big boobs?” My mom and his mom were in the room, laughing hysterically. The anesthesiologist chuckled and said “Okay yeah, you’re ready for surgery.”

20. I think its perfect game

I got my wisdom teeth out too. Had an IV, for the first time, I was 16 yyears old. All I remember was feeling GREAT, I mean seriously amazing. When I sorta came too, I remember asking how much longer til it’s over. And they said “we’re done!”

The nurse brought me out to the car with my parents, and helped me out to the car. And on the car ride home I asked “why was the nurse was so friendly?” My parents told me that I confessed my love for short haired brunettes, and that she would be my wife because “she was perfect” and “I loved her.”

…I had no game at the time.

21. Not at all

I once projectile vomited all over a nurse and simultaneously expelled my catheter.

I don’t handle general anesthesia very well.

22. Funny patient

I recently had to have a tooth removed and while under laughing gas, after however long of them scraping against my teeth, I declared that I “knew how they came up with dubstep music!” The nurse pulled out of my mouth and asked what I had said. I responded with “you know dubstep moosic is right?” and she laughed and nodded. “Whoever made it must have made it after having a tooth pulled and hearing the wiki wiki bwaaaaa” She literally had to stop working because she laughed so hard.

23. Broken dongus

My friend woke up from general anaesthesia after his kidney stone removal surgery he turned to the anesthesiologist, locked eyes, and dead straight mumbled, “…Did you break my dongus?”

The poor guy has to excuse himself from the room he was laughing so hard. Never came back.

24. Sleep standing up

My Dad had eye surgery a few years ago to fix a partially detached retina. He’s a funny guy without drugs, so naturally he was extra goofy with the nurses after his surgery, joking around a ton and whatnot. Anyway, my Mom took him to a deli for some food (he hadn’t eaten all day), and instead of ordering a sandwich, he ordered a salad, which was impossible for him to eat with his drugged up hand-eye coordination. He then proceeds to go to the bathroom and fall asleep at the urinal, only waking up when my Mom sends someone in to check on him.

25. Happy Heart

I recently had open heart surgery. When you wake up they give you a heart shaped pillow to hold onto and put pressure on your chest (which feels amazing). When I woke up I threw the pillow at my mum and told her that whoever came up with that idea was the most ridiculous person and screaming that no one wants something on their chest after it’s been broken. That pillow ended up being my favorite thing and I kept it with me 24-7 for a couple of weeks.

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