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25 Doctors Share the Funniest Things Their Patients Said While High on Anesthesia

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Medicine can have some crazy side effects, the funniest of which definitely come from anesthesia. Check out these AskReddit doctors and patients who share their funniest “waking up from being under” stories.

1. Yeah, weird.

After I really bad car accident, I was pinned in the car for an hour while they cut me out. Apparently, the EMT, who I knew from high school, asked how I felt. I said I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. Also, in shock and very injured, insisted that I could climb out myself if everybody just backed up. Then, on the helicopter ride, I asked if we would be flying over a volcano and if I could look out the window. Pain makes me weird I guess.

2. An actual train

“I feel like I got hit by a train!”

Guy actually got hit by a train.

3. Jackson Juice

On the other side, when I got my tonsils removed, the doctor said “We call this Jackson juice,” as he hooked up the anesthesia to the IV, “Because this is what Michael Jackson died from.”

I then woke up with no tonsils.

4. With a better ending

I had a lump removed from my boob a few years ago. The table they had me on was shaped like a T, so my arms were outstretched. As I was passing out, I said to the nurses, ” I feel like Jesus.” They had to tell me about it when I awoke.

5. “If I deserved to die”

As I was passing out to get my wisdom teeth done the nurse who was putting me out said something about “you may feel an itching or burning in your genitals please resist the urge to scratch it” and I answered with “no problem, you can take care of my genitals for me” and she answered with “maybe I should make it so you don’t wake up” as my eyes closed and that’s the last thing I remembered.

I’m sure the next hour or two was terrifying as I contemplated whether she’d killed me and if I deserved to die.

6. Get it!

Told this story before, but surgeon here. Was doing varicose veins surgery on a very posh middle aged lady. Very cut class accent. There was an anaesthetic that we used that sometimes induced some hallucinations either going under or coming out of anaesthesia and heard some funny things.

Anyway this lady was in recovery just coming out of the anaesthetic. The team were around waiting for her to wake up and gag a little on the tube in her throat (for breathing) so we knew it was time to remove it. She gagged, we removed the tube, she smacked her lips and said loudly, in her incredible accent:

‘That’s the best bit of penis I have had in years!’

The whole recovery room just fell about laughing. Luckily she didn’t remember it.

7. Ugh, puuuuke

My mom has a sort of cute one. After a recent surgery she woke up crying and asking for my dad. 31 years of marriage and still stupid in love with each other.

8. A lot of universes

Not a doctor, but my girlfriend broke her ankle pretty badly in April.

I showed up in the ER shortly after she’d arrived, and had to step out briefly so that the nurses could set the bones back. They had to give her something pretty intense for the pain, believe it was ketamine.

I came back in after it was done, and hilarity ensued. She forgot repeatedly that she’d even broken her ankle. She constantly worried that she was swearing too much (there was a little boy in the next bed), which she was not. She thought that reality had broken and that there were “eight universes all at once”.

9. Helpful hands

While having dental work done under the influence of laughing gas, I (female, mid-teens at the time) tried very hard to flirt with the (also female, married) dentist. I was not in any way subtle. She was not at all amused… awkward.

Also, not anesthesia but Dilaudid: I called my husband from the ER once rambling about how totally amazing it was that we have fingers- “They’re so helpful, and they’re like, always there! They’re like little friends that you get to carry around with you everywhere.” It didn’t take him too long to figure out they had me high as a kite but he was super confused at first.