17. “She just nods” lol
I dated a gal in Manhattan, didn’t know until about six months in that her dad was extremely wealthy. We went to his UES apartment one night, first thing I see in the foyer is a cool painting, look closer and see it is a Picasso, say ‘wait, is this…?’ And she just nods. It was the cheapest painting in the place.
18. 2 rich roomies
I’ve had 2 roommates who were obscenely rich.
The first one was from a rich Russian family. As in, went to an elite boarding school with ambassador and actor kids and some elite equestrian program.
Parents hired people to help her move into our apartment. She spent money so lavishly, it was incredible. Buying whatever caught her eye and losing interest. She had this incredible brand name clothing and shoe collection that took up the entirety of our shared closet space.
It was great. I got to eat her food, she would buy alcohol to try it and I would finish it off. She’d let me borrow her clothes. She was really a nice girl, just obscenely rich. She eventually dropped out halfway cause she couldn’t handle the stress of school (not being catered to by professors) so I got to live in a single the rest of the year (she was still paying for it and never bothered to find another sub!).
Next roommate was rich girl heir to some prestigious hospital or medical group in China. She had a spending budget of like $500 a week, which she would spend on sneakers/shoes. Our apartment had a bi-weekly maid service organized by her parents to clean up for us. All her clothes were taken weekly to be steam cleaned. She also spent a lot of money on alcohol that I was more than happy to finish off for her.
They had set up some weekly food delivery with a gourmet hipster food company, and I basically never had to shop for food that year. I got to eat fancy pasta, cheeses, pâté, pastries, avocados all the time, and heirloom versions of vegetables. Also a lot of quinoa and weird grains.
She was also a great roommate. Didn’t have much in common and we fell out of touch when we graduated. But I did have 2 years of mooching off rich elites when I was in college.
19. Where else would they play?
Family I know bought the $3 million house next door so they could knock it down for a tennis court.
20. Expensive shoes
I was driving for Uber in a college town and picked up a group from one of the richer frat houses to take them to a club. The girls were discussing how one of their friends was upset and went on a huge shoe shopping spree where each pair cost roughly $2,000 except for one. This one pair costed $7,000. One of the girls casually expresses that ‘$7,000 is really not a bad price to pay for shoes, they should’ve just been a little bit prettier. I would’ve paid $5,000 for them.’
Why they called an Uber instead of a limo, I don’t know.
21. The wrong color
My junior year of college, I was the unofficial tutor of an English major. Her dad owned a chain of banks. She didn’t want Dad to know that she was basically illiterate, but she had already filled out the paperwork to let Dad view her grades online. He was constantly on her to improve, but he would also be able to see tutoring logs, so she came up with our ‘unofficial’ arrangement. I tutored her- extensively. I basically taught to read. And in exchange, she bought me clothes and liquor and things that her Dad wouldn’t notice on his card as being usual, but I could pawn them for cash if I needed.
That’s not the crazy part.
For Christmas, she told her parents that her car was ‘old’. It was a top of the line Mercedes, with a custom interior and it was less than twelve months old.
Her parents told her no, that there was nothing wrong with her car and she could keep it, ‘at least until she graduated.’ She was distraught that she might have to keep the, ‘piece of junk’ for at least another four years, so she hatched a plan.
She refused to drive. If she had to be driven somewhere, she made one of her ‘peasant’ friends drive her and took pictures to show her parents how much she was suffering. Although I refused to give her a ride, she apparently staged photos with my beaten up Ford that was two decades old and held together by duct tape and good luck. In the photos, she was doing that fake Instagram-crying where the mascara and eyeliner run perfectly together and it’s clearly an art shot that in no way indicates that someone is upset. Yeah.
Her parents caved, and on Christmas morning the students that remained on campus were treated to the sight of a sleek Lamborghini with a huge red velvet bow delivered to her dorm. Campus security surrounded the whole affair to keep us poor people from touching it.
She came to the door, yawning and stretching dramatically like she had just been woken up (with perfect curls and makeup) and takes one step out the door towards her gift. Then shrieks like she’s been shot straight through, whirls around, slams the door behind her, and screams into her phone loud enough for the crowd to hear, ‘It’s the wrong color!’
On New Years, her new car arrived, in the proper color.
22. Big spender
We owned a karaoke service in Las Vegas. Got a call one day at 730pm from a party planner we often worked with.
They wanted us to be at the Venetian in 1.5 hours for a 4 hour event. ‘Price is not an issue.’
We gave them a decent last minute deal ($2000).
Turns out this was for a private gambling club. They had a special room with the big table games set up.
Minimum buy in just to attend was $500,000 actual cash on hand and another $500,000 line of credit.
Minimum bet was $5000 with no max. Most bets were $20k or more (a stack of 20 $1000 chips.
I forgot to mention, there was also a $1,000,000 membership fee (one time, lifetime) to get invited to these kinds of events.
The smallest chip in the room was $100, and that’s what they used for tipping.
I made over $3000 in tips that night, plus my pay of $2000. In 4 hours.
Rumor was that one guy lost $3.5 million. In 4 hours.
23. Bank baller
Went to college on an athletic scholarship at an expensive private catholic university (I went to school on the GI Bill or I would have never been able to afford it). I was on the lacrosse team and during a party at the on-campus apartments one of the captains starting stabbing his refrigerator with a K-Bar. I was outside smoking and a I asked him why he did that knowing full well he would have to replace it. His exact words were, ‘I’m not paying for anything. My dad is a baller at Bank of America.’ He and I did not get along.
24. Ummm. ok.
In summer of 1988 I was 16 and I went on a family trip to visit relatives in Cali, Colombia. One night, they took us on a drive around town to see the city at night. On the tour, we passed a six or seven story office tower under construction in a residential neighborhood that my cousin told me was to be the future home of one of the city’s largest narcotraficantes, or drug kingpins. While the house was under construction, he’d had another large mansion built directly across the street so he could keep an eye on the building’s progress from his home.
Essentially, he built a mansion to live in while he watched his bigger mansion being built.
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