Everyone is pretty much embarrassed all the time – that’s a secret you learn as you get older – it just isn’t so bad once you’re an adult. But it could be soul-crushing when we were kids, and pretty much everyone has that one childhood embarrassment that we just never get over. And sometimes the best way to deal with those memories is to post them on the internet for everyone else to enjoy, just like these AskReddit users did:
1. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I was around 7 and was watching Oprah, she had on the cast of Batman and Robin. First comes George Clooney, then comes Chris O’Donnell, then Arnold Schwarzenegger. As Arnold comes walking out I loudly proclaim “Now THATS a man!!” Well my mom lost it and was in splits. Ever since she’s thought I have the biggest crush on him… when in fact I meant in comparison to the other guys, Arnold being all buff seemed way more manly to my younger self. It’s been twenty years and I have yet to live it down.
2. Bless you.
When I was about 7 or so, I was getting up from the dinner table and I felt a sneeze coming on. I sneezed so hard that my head went down and bashed into the back on my dining room chair.
3. Bra malfunction.
When I was 12, I “borrowed” my mom’s bra, put on a white t-shirt and went up to the cute guy on the next street over. He looked at me and said “Oh look! Shelly has boobies!” and poked me in one. Being a bra and not having anything to fill it, it sunk in and stayed in. I ran away mortified.
4. Terrible teacher.
My 6th grade teacher used to make fun of me for reading. I’m dyslexic, so I would practice reading constantly to keep up with my peers (I eventually got better at it than most of my peers because of all the practice). Because I was ten and had attention problems (not a disorder, but the over-active thought process of a kid), I would sometimes read more than one book at once. This – and a lack of readily-available bookmarks – meant that while I was reading one, I would have two others laying open (face-down, just saving my page) on my desk.
Mr. Parker saw this one day and decided that he wanted to take a picture of me with the books. I thought he was giving me praise, so I let him take the picture and put it up on the bulletin board.
Then he started making snide comments about it later: “Oh, she can’t be without a book for TWO SECONDS”, that sort of thing. It was humiliating because the rest of the class picked up on his mocking tone of voice and started making fun of me for reading. I had to join the other class for assigned reading groups, because my class would constantly berate me if I read ahead. It got to the point where I would purposefully read the books that my class was assigned (before they were assigned) so that I could take refuge in the other class under the pretext of “I’ve already read all of those”.
I grew up to be a writer in spite of all of that, though, so it worked out in the end.
5. Run, Forest, run.
I’ve always been an awkward person. Well, picture awkward me as a child. My sister is two years younger than I am. I had to go to her classroom while she was absent to retrieve her homework in elementary school. I was running down the hall with a grocery bag in my hand. The bag was filling with air while I ran, and I felt like a magician. My sister’s teacher made me show her class this! They still talk about this, and it was 25+ years ago!
Also, I had a very odd way of running. I would only move one arm back and forth while I ran. I’d pump that arm and keep the other one still. My family still brings this up!
6. The Virgin Mary.
A classmate asked me if I was a virgin. I said no rather emphatically because I thought a virgin was someone who had never sinned at all. (The only context I had was the Virgin Mary.) Years later I was embarrassed in retrospect!