Have you ever slept in someone’s guest room that was filled with a doll collection? No, you haven’t, because it’s impossible to sleep while dozens of little porcelain monsters are staring at you.
There’s no way around it: some toys are creepy.
But the toys on this list go SO FAR BEYOND creepy, you won’t be able to get them out of your mind. Possibly for years.
There are some seriously disturbed individuals designing toys for our kids.
1. Shave The Baby
I have so many questions…Who would think this is fun for a kid? Do they want kids to play with razors??? And, just, the weird hair patterns? (Shins? Calves?? Butt crack????)
I wasn’t ready for this. I’m going back to bed.
2. Roadkill Cat
Well, at least it’s a creative way to tell the kids what happened to Fluffy.
3. Daddy Saddle
Coincidentally, “Daddy Saddle” is also the name of a great bar in San Francisco.
4. Giant Microbes’ Plush HPV
This is the official plush toy of Spring Break Lake Havasu.
5. A baby doll you can breastfeed.
Because breast feeding is such a blast. But this one is nothing compared to…
6. A baby that can have its own baby.
Not only is the baby doll itself pregnant, its OWN baby is pregnant as well. So, it’s basically a Russian nesting doll that will screw up your kid.
7. Funny Cage
This one seems more fun for the parents, TBH.
8. Lovely Strait Jacket
Yeah yeah yeah, some of you are gonna look at this and think, “Isn’t that dangerous?” Yeah, that’s the point!
9. Face Bank
This one teaches kids to be frugal. Because who’s gonna want to retrieve their money when it’s inside the mouth of a soul of the damned?
This company should also make refrigerators for people on diets.
10. Milky, The Marvelous Milking Cow
The kid on the left can’t even keep his eyes open for this horror.