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18 Awesomely Tacky Knitted Sweaters From The 1980’s

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We may be verging on summer, but it’s always a good time to appreciate some gloriously tacky sweaters. Originally featured in the 1985 book Wit Knits, which taught people how to knit sweaters and sweater vests with all sorts of objects, animals, and themes on them. They’re great, and even the kitschiest person you know would probably look at them and say, “Whoa, too much.”

If you ever knitted a sweater from Wit Knits, or received one as a gift, please please PLEASE let us know. With pictures, if possible.

1. Hands off the merchandise.

Photo Credit: Messy Nessy Chic

How much you wanna bet that cockatiel says things like, “I’M A FAILURE!”

2. One scoop, or two?

Photo Credit: Messy Nessy Chic

She screams for ice cream and because she hasn’t felt the touch of a lover in 12 years!

3. A Cat & Mouse Game

Photo Credit: Messy Nessy Chic

On the back of the sweater, you can see the cat ripping the mouse’s guts out!

4. Whoa!

Photo Credit: Messy Nessy Chic

I think the horse is actively trying to escape that sweater.

5. Scottie

Photo Credit: Messy Nessy Chic

Male camel toe is a serious problem, people. #solidarity

6. Ribbit

Photo Credit: Messy Nessy Chic

He’s a member of the world’s least scary street gang. Even the Jets and the Sharks laugh at them.

7. Toucan play at that game.

Photo Credit: Messy Nessy Chic

The sweaters come in a pair, but the sexual frustration is free.

8. Heavy metal

Photo Credit: Messy Nessy Chic

PHOTOGRAPHER: Just make it look like you’re playing the guitar.

MODEL: Playing a what? I’ve never heard of a–

PHOTOGRAPHER: [click]

9. Who wants a daiquiri?

Photo Credit: Messy Nessy Chic

Wearing this sweater is a great way to say, “I am making the best of male menopause.”

10. She’s got it. Do you?

Photo Credit: Messy Nessy Chic

Meaning “knitability.” Not worms. Why would you think I meant worms?