We’ve all made those “once-in-a-lifetime” mistakes. And hopefully most of us learned enough so we NEVER make that mistake again.
Thankfully for us readers, these folks on AskReddit most definitely did not:
1. 3rd Time’s the Charm
Chipped a front tooth biting my nails. Three times. Same tooth, same nail.
After the last time I said whatever and got a silver tooth.
Moving to another state twice for two different dudes I met online. The same state. Will be moving back to the same state soon for another dude. 3rd time’s a charm right?
Dick-pic to grandpa.
Honestly the second time was easier to explain.
4. The Patron
My father-in-law has twice sponsored Nigerian princes.
My dad worked at a gas station in his teens. He cleaned a glass door so well that when he was done, he turned to pick up his bucket, turned back to the door and stepped right through the glass. They docked his wages to pay for it.
After the new glass was installed, my dad decided to clean the installer’s fingerprints off the glass. When he was done, he turned to pick up his bucket…
6. Bye, Hay Loft
Walking in my grandparent’s barn in the hay loft. Didn’t know a hay loft would have an opening in the floor to toss hay bales into the horse stalls below. Also didn’t know my grandfather had put a thin sheet of plexiglass over the opening because he didn’t feed them in the stalls and didn’t want the hay falling down into the stalls by accident. The plexiglass had gotten pretty much covered completely by hay. So as my cousins and I were walking through the loft, I stepped into the plexiglass… and disappeared into the horse stall below. I was maybe 6 years old and it was a good 15ft drop, so not a minor thing. I wasn’t injured but it was a very scary event. Parents were retrieved, I was crying, it became a moderately big deal. Luckily the stall was empty at the time.
About 2 years later I’d basically forgotten about the whole thing, but my cousins had not. Again we were playing around in the hay loft. One if my cousins dared me to walk across a stretch of the floor that was covered with hay (the plexiglass had been replaced). Being one of the youngest of the cousins of course I was not going to chicken out on such a simple dare. So I did… and again disappeared into the horse stall. This time falling in right behind the very big, very skittish Arabian horse my grandparent’s owned. To this day no one can understand why that horse didn’t kick out, he would freak out at everything. But he just looked back at me very confused as to why this small screaming human had suddenly appeared in his stall…
I was not allowed in the barn anymore after that.
Fell down a flight of stairs twice. Intentionally.
First time was when I was 4, reading a book on how a turtle cracked its shell to become wise, so I decided to crack my own shell by throwing myself down the stairs.
Second time was when I was demonstrating to a friend about the scenario above. I only really meant to jump down two stairs as an example, but I just kept on going….
7th grade. Was shooting spitballs in class. Teacher turns around for a second, war begins. I shot first this round and got my friend, 30 feet across the room in the mouth as he was inhaling to power his spitball. He immediately fishhooks himself with his pinky finger in his cheek and starts gagging, then choking. Teacher freaks and tries to do the heimlich thing. Ambulance arrives, parents were called, investigation took place. Everybody lived.
15 or so years later I’m in the army, in AIT. We are shining our boots with polish, cotton balls, and water. People start throwing these wet, nasty, boot polish soaked cotton balls at each other just messing around. I throw one and as you might have guessed, right in my friends mouth about 30 feet away. Same pinky fishhook in the cheek, same cat with a hairball horking / gagging noise, followed by choking, heimlich, and an investigation.