Here are two thoughts that are in NO WAY related to each other:
1. When you’re a new parent, your top concern is making sure your baby has the best life possible. In fact, it’s such a pressing issue that you often worry you’re not doing enough. It gnaws at you.
2. Con artists make their money by exploiting people’s fears.
Now, let’s look at some weird baby products that I’m sure are totally worth buying and are NOT AT ALL SCAMS.
1. The Baby Mop
I don’t know about you, but any time I see a baby crawling on the floor, I think, “What a freeloader!” Well now you can put these moochers to work!
2. Baby Bling
Pairs perfectly with the Baby Wu Tang CD.
3. Baby’s Poop Alarm
To be fair, there’s currently no known way to tell when you’re baby’s parked a load in their diaper. Certainly not by smelling or looking.
4. The NoseFrida, aka “The Snotsucker”
This one’s probably on the more useful end of the spectrum, but it makes the list on the visual alone.
5. The Zaky Hand Pillow
This is great if you don’t want your baby to develop attachment issues, but you also wanna keep your hands free for Snapchatting.
6. The “WhyCry” Crying Analyzer
So it’s just as bogus as a mood ring, but way more expensive? Where can I get one?!
7. The iPotty
Hey, your child’s gonna spend most of their life using their iPhone on the toilet like the rest of us do. Why not start ’em early?
8. The Crumb Cap
Makes mealtime .00000001% less messy!
9. The Windi
Maybe your baby has so much gas you need to buy a pack of these babies, but we all know what this really is: a butt plug for babies.
10. The Pee-Pee Tee Pee
That’s a soft cloth cone you place over a male baby so you don’t get sprayed while changing his diaper. This one feels like the company started with the name and worked backwards from there.