Most friendships eventually come to an end.
But it’s usually a gradual, almost unconscious process.
Often, we don’t end friendships so much as move on to new ones. Lives and circumstances change – that’s just the way things are.
Every once in a while, however, we have to consciously de-couple from a friend after things turn toxic.
That’s what these 16 AskReddit stories are about:
1. Otherwise Engaged
I was engaged and I asked a guy who I had been really good friends with for several years if he would be one of the groomsmen at my wedding. He started laughing out loud and just said, “No, I’m not going to be one of the groomsmen at your wedding.”
His response shocked me, and it made me feel really embarrassed for having asked. Haven’t seen him since that day.
In 2012 I reunited with an old gf from high school through fb. She was moving back to town and needed a place to crash. I offered my couch, and she moved in. This led to a relationship fairly quickly, against my better judgement. One night we’re watching tv and she says, “I was looking at your Facebook and saw that your last gf was black. Did you actually sleep with her?”
“That’s so. Fucking. Gross.”
“Have you never dated a black dude?”
“Well yeah, but that’s different”
There were other factors at play, but she was shown the door shortly there after.
At the pub one night with a group of friends. This guy I kind of know was there with his fairly new girlfriend. This black guy comes over and talks to her for a minute, just saying hi how are you doing kind of thing.
Guy says to his gf ‘how do you know him?’. Gf says ‘we used to date a few years ago’. Guy looks really uncomfortable, pauses for a minute, then blurts out ‘did you fuck him?’. Gf says ‘lets talk about this later’. Guy says ‘because if you fucked him we’re through, I don’t take any n****er’s sloppy seconds’.
Many years ago when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, my sister found out she lost her baby at the same time. To keep my family from worrying about me and to give my sister time to emotionally heal, I decided to wait til the 12 week mark to tell my family.
I couldn’t keep the news to myself though, so I told three of my friends and told them to keep it a secret and why they needed to.
The 12 week mark rolls around and my parents say that they already know because one of my friends told them. I confront this friend, she denies it. Another friend who knew called her on her bullshit, so she finally admitted it. She said she thought my parents deserved to know and that I wouldn’t even have to keep a pregnancy a secret if I “weren’t such a slut who got pregnant only months into marriage”.
Then she went batshit, broke into the home of the friend who called her out and stole a ton of stuff. So she lost two friends that day. And from what people tell me, she’s been slowly losing the few she has left.
A few weeks later I actually ran into her roommate and she stopped me because she told her roommate I was pregnant I guess. I told her how everything went down and she said it was weird that she would consider that slutty behavior because she had recently started a “mission” to sleep with a different guy each week, and had gone above and beyond by sleeping with a different guy every few days.
5. How effing rude
They said it was too awkward for them to be my friend because my dad had cancer.
“It’s probably best that she miscarried – I don’t think you guys should be having kids together.”
Good-fucking-bye, former best friend. Good-fucking-bye.
I had a friend who let me sleep on her couch after my chemo treatments when my husband was at school.
She told me i owed her.
8. “Mates Rates”
She asked for a favour, and “mates rates” when she was getting married – for me to do her wedding photography. I agreed and did her a really cheap deal, but I worked full time at the time, so told her it’d be several weeks before I’d be able to get through editing them all. She was impatient, bitched about it on Facebook, and complained when they weren’t ready after she came back from her honeymoon.
Once I’d given her the photos, I cut her out of my life.