If you came to this article via our parent website Awkward Family Photo, you know that one of our missions over the years has been documenting people’s craziest, most questionable hairstyles. And you might think we do that because it’s funny, but you’d be wrong. The real reason we offer so many crazy hairdo photos is to save the future. We preserve awkward hairdos for posterity, so that centuries later our descendants might avoid our fate.

Here are 15 hairstyles that are so awkward it hurts, along with my best guess as to how the person ordered them at the barbershop.

1. “I’d like to look like I have praying mantises mating on my forehead.”

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2. “Can you make my hair look like it was badly Photoshopped?”

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3. “You know what? Just rub a balloon all over my head.”

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4.  “I would like to look like Vanilla Ice’s body double.”

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5.  “I’m supposed to wear an eye patch, but I want to get creative. What can you do for me?”

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6.  “Make me look like the love child of George Washington and Oates from Hall & Oates.'”

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No, I didn’t bother to look up his first name.

7.  “I’ll have the ‘Frankenstein,’ please.”

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8.  “We’re trying to win a Bob Ross lookalike contest this weekend.”

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9.  “My wife gets to wear a veil and I don’t. Let’s even things up.”

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10.  “I’m going as Chewbacca for Halloween, but I don’t want to buy a costume.”

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11.   “We stole all Dad’s hair for ourselves.”

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12.  “Our Mom just remarried and we’d like to show her how we feel about that.”

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13.  “Do you do group discounts?”

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14. “Paintbrush me.”

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15.  And finally, “Make me look like 2/3rds of the German flag.”

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h/t: Awkward Family Photos